I confessed to Shame, itself,
As if a thought criminal.
My temptation:
It felt wrong to bring you on board
This titanic
Raft that could soon be drift wood
And flow rust and sea weed
For Ballard's search team.
How a leak the size
Of the eye of a needle,
When a camel can't do it,
But I swear the whole ocean's squeezing through on board here.
And then you came on through, as well.
You said "don't say sorry for crying, darling",
And pined for that you could plug the puncture.
I praised the hole for letting you in here.
Cause then I discovered
The beauty of being
On a tormented ship together,
Rather than alone.
You assured me two makes a lifeboat.
Now,
Seven oceans through a straw.
Parched man gulped straight from Dream's chalice, thirsting.
Slighted straw demands itself great purpose.
Embracing, I whispered that I would
Never have known it -
The beauty of being
On a tormented ship together,
Rather than alone,
Knowing two makes a lifeboat.
Knowing two makes a lifeboat.
Grammar fine
Neither are grammatically correct, they are both idiomatic - one. Two, contextually, neither enhances emotional dynamic. There is emphasis shift in the scansion and connotations. Inside the acceptance of idiom, both define their own grammatical constructs and therefore own validity - I suspect this view will further obscure clarity - just like the phrases that leave the reader victim to a cliffhanger. :D
Well, I was hoping for an
Well, I was hoping for an easy answer, but now you've given me much more to think about haha. Thank you for that, none the less. Greatly appreciate that you took the time to break down your thoughts on the matter for me.