Ten Reasons To Never Fall In Love With A Poet

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Ten Reasons To Never Fall In Love With A Poet

 
1) They will write poetry about you. Worry not, there will be poetry. And if you are unlucky, from experience, it will be about how many times you failed at being the perfect lover, no matter how much they love you, your faults go first. 
 
2) You will never be on their level vocabulary-wise. Half the time you will not understand the words they use. No worries, the don't either and just know how to use it in a sentence, or made it up to fit the line breaks and/or to rhyme. 
 
3) When you tell them how you really feel they somehow find a way to show you up and begin to write a love poem about you half-way through your conversation. 
 
4) Of course their smoothness and wonderful handle on words only works through text, online communication, written communication, and telepathically, the second they have to wax poetic on the spot you are in love with a stuttering mess of words and rhyming and things start to not make sense. 
 
5) Poets never are truly over something. Sure, it happened eight billion years ago, but they will never get over the emotional trauma of losing the dinosaurs, now imagine how they feel about exes, heartbreak, and childhood memories of varying happiness levels. You might find more poems about how an ex-lovers hair slides over their fingers than what your physical attributes do to their heart. 
 
6) Sometimes their poetry will scare you so bad you lose your breath. Poets have an unhealthy obsession with extreme and morbid things. Death, religion, metaphors, humor, suicide, homoside, fraterside, uxorside, insanity and for some odd reason, and this will never be explained, love. 
 
7) Poets tend to be emotional, and your significant other may be prone to crying over things you find trivial, broken candles, worn out crayons, brand new things, a frayed rug, old people, street signs, everything, the night sky, everything. Because they came up with a tragic backstory or relate to inanimate objects daily and in a matter of seconds. 
 
8) They tend to exaggerate. A lot. Your heart is the size of the moon and their hatred of Star Wars wouldn't fit on a spoon. The spirit of chess reverberates through their souls every five minutes and it has seemed decades you have been gone (I didn't know the store around the corner took more than a minute to walk to) 
 
9) The silence. No matter how talkative your poet is there are times when they are silent. When poetry has wrapped it's way around their head and over their eyes, when you don't know what they are thinking but their lips move silently as they scroll through their vast knowledge of words to describe the scene they are completing in their head. The silence that can last from
Minutes to days. 
 
10) Because if what you have with them doesn't work out, you have the privilege of knowing that you aren't sure what to do with the shoe boxes of poems they wrote for you, if you will ever get their metaphors of your beauty and their love out of your head, and the guilt of knowing that they will never stop writing about you, and knowing that no matter what you do, you will walk away feeling like the dropped mic at the end of a poem. 
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DesertDreamer's picture

I've showed this to at least

I've showed this to at least half of my good friends and then they asked if I had an account on here and if I'd ever written anything specifically about them. But of course, I only write about love and my own personal life.

 

Another good one to add is how self-absorbed poets seem to be. I mean, when we were together (and even now) I'm extremely self-absorbed.


~~We can fade away together one dream at a time.~~

life_used_to_be_lifelike's picture

You are incredibly spot on.

You are incredibly spot on. Then again, of course you would be. I feel awful for the poor creatures that love us. 


"It is a terrible thing to be so open. It is as if my heart put on a face and walked into the world" -- Sylvia Plath.

LovingLovelace's picture

Their poor little hearts,

Their poor little hearts, huh? Haha, thank you so much for commenting and I apologize for the lateness, for some reason it didn't show up until today that I even had new comments. 

 

THank you, 

 

Love,

LovingLovelace


If your mirror doesn't find you one of the most beautiful people it has ever seen, punch it and find a better mirror.

life_used_to_be_lifelike's picture

No prob! Yeah poor poor

No prob! Yeah poor poor wretched things. Oh well. 


"It is a terrible thing to be so open. It is as if my heart put on a face and walked into the world" -- Sylvia Plath.

Beavis's picture

Loved it!

Really enjoyed your take on this!

LovingLovelace's picture

Haha, thank you! To be honest

Haha, thank you! To be honest it is my favorite thing I have ever written. I wrote it all about me, but realized it was true of most poets so a few tweaks and I was able to insult all poets! 

 

Thank you for your comments,

 

Love,

LovingLovelace.


If your mirror doesn't find you one of the most beautiful people it has ever seen, punch it and find a better mirror.

ladylynnp's picture

enjoyed it

it sounds just like me as a fellow poet. keep up the good work.

LovingLovelace's picture

Thank you! I found myself in

Thank you! I found myself in all of them so I felt justified posting. XD Last resort it is all about me. Thank you again, and I will continue to write!

Love,
LovingLovelace


If your mirror doesn't find you one of the most beautiful people it has ever seen, punch it and find a better mirror.

darkpool's picture

I like number five the best.

I like number five the best. Get over it, man!

Number six is good too. Searching for the perfect hook, they will go places that others would turn sick just looking at. 

LovingLovelace's picture

Yes! And thank you! I put as

Yes! And thank you! I put as much truth as I could consciously know about myself and poets in general. XD We are very complicated and sometimes not-sane people, and that is just how it goes. :3

We enjoy it too much to stop! Thank you, again!

Love,
LovingLovelace


If your mirror doesn't find you one of the most beautiful people it has ever seen, punch it and find a better mirror.

allets's picture

ROFLMFAO

rofllmfao! U nailed us! dropped mic ha! ok so only a few times I made up words...it's in the poet handbook, made up words are allowed. We aim for obscure references and don't mess with my dinosaurs. I am only insulted because the truth hurts and will hurt more as soon as I am no long roflmfao, roflmfao, roflmfao, roflmfao, roflmfao, roflmfao
etc. - This poem could be the first page of my autobiography - encore poem: 10 Reasons Poets Live In Perpetual Self Denial ~~Stella Crews
.aka: allets aka Lady A
.


 

 

LovingLovelace's picture

Oh my goodness, thank you

Oh my goodness, thank you very much. It means a lot to me, especially coming from you. Thank you! 

 

I wrote it kinda out of self hatred, but as a poet I found myself too in love with myself to write something mean. It came out truthful and reletively humorous for those who understand being on either side of the relationship. 

 

Love,

LovingLovelace


If your mirror doesn't find you one of the most beautiful people it has ever seen, punch it and find a better mirror.