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Why did i let myself fall for you. why did i let myself get so wrapped up in us that i couldnt even see the pain when it was infront of my eye's. why do i tell myself i'll be okay and that i'll see you tommrow. when i know its not true and i know i wont talk to you tommrow. how come i keep thinkin that everything will be okay if you just hold me in you'r arms. i must be one of those girl's who fall inlove with a guy who looks so perfect and so inocent and sweet. i tell myself that everything is okay between us. that we just having one of those moment's that every couple's have. What if it's not okay and what if it never gets back to the way it was in the first when we first said i love you and felt it inside our hearts and soul's. i just wish i could see you more often and have more time to spend togeather and say i love you. It's funny how i know we will look back on this and maybe you will see what i saw that was so wrong in our realtionship maybe you won't tho but i'm hurting so bad inside and not having you near is making the pain even more worse, i don't do anything but sleep and wait on you thinkin you will call and say everything's okay and that you love me. I try to sleep and try make the day's and nights go by quicker but that doesn't work, i wake up thinkin maybe youve called me or maybe you will come by but hour's start to pass and still no word from you. I wish i could make you see how much it hurts me whenever you do these thing's to me. It's like a thousand knife stabbing me over and over again the pain is gettin so hard and so tough to ignore and hide. I tell myself everything's okay and that i know you love me but at time's have some doubts about our love and how can i keep my head up and stay so strong, not knowin what you doing or where you'r at i love you so much but it's starting to drive me more insane and more depressed then i am already. You tell me that you will come over or that you will call me but i never see you and i never hear you'r voice it's been month sense ive seen you or even heard you'r voice, i keep thinkin that maybe something's wrong or maybe you'r just having a bad time and you just wan't to be alone but i just wish i had the answer's and that i knew what was really going on i love you so much but it hurts so bad at time's sitting here worried and thinkin about you 24/7 non stop and it's really tearing me up inside that we are not that close anymore. We never have time by ourself's and when you do come over we never talk we just lay there and watch tv or listen to music or the OTHER thing, it feel's like at time's that maybe sex was the only thing that could keep our realtionship strong and keep it going. I never thought i would find somoene so special and so perfect like you are but there are time's where i think that maybe, you'r not all that perfect and not all that special and then i start to hate myself becuase i love you so much but the pain i go through is so unbearible. I use to think you was the PERFECT guy in this whole world i use to think i could never find anyone else like you and  that i'll never meet anyone who could make me laugh or smile the way you do.  You'r every thought that crosses my mind and every dream i have every morning i awake you'r always on my mind even when i'm sound asleep you pop up in my dream's you'r just so perfect to me and it's like there is NOTHING that you can do wrong, even tho you always do thing's that makes me so pissed off or so hurt inside i still and i will always love you no matter what happend's in the end. They say we need to move on and find someone differnt and someone we deserve we always hearing this shit about how we could do better and how we do not deserve eachother and how, you or me doesnt need be with one another but i wonder how can they say all this bullshit when there never around us and they don't see the good time's we have togeather when were around one another. You tell me that you will always be around and how nothing or no one can ever come between what we have or ever split us up but sometimes you make me wonder and think is all this pain and suffering worth all this in the end, you always say you love me or "you know i love you right" but there are time's where i have my doubt's but i can not let that come between what i feel for you because there are so many people who already say shit about us and some of the shit they say you do not know and it's like i'm always protecting you or taking you'r slack. You act and think that everything's okay and that we never have a problem and that everything will be okay between us and everyone in the world sometimes i think that you don't acturly know, what we are in or how much shit come's our way you just walk around like everythings perfect and that everything in our lives will be find.  This is the last time i pour my heart out to you and tell you all my secrets and all my love i have inside of me for you so this is you'r chance take it or leave it, try make things better between us or just leave me now because i don't think i'm strong enough to go through all that hell you put me through again.