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i am at war with myself
Folder:
dark i am at war with myself.
fighting my own sense of dread
i want to have sex
and i wish i was a virgin
i am torn between two worlds. i just want to live.
i want to not care for romance.
i lust for love.
i love for God.
i got enough,
i give for luck.
i wish to be uncorrupted
but i'm self-destructive
what ifs make me run in circles.
we're all losing hands with poker faces
i'm the best, i am jaded
cliches make me feel like hatred.
it's not the cards, it's how you play it
and where you place your bets.
seems like everyone wants to forget
about the fact they try to forget
they lost their hands to cheap regrets.
burned a deck to keep them warm.
the joker's laughing. impatience, porn.
i crave a calm during the storm.
i want to do what i want to do.
live a plastic life of luxury
make this consciousness about me.
treat life like a video game
but i chose love over fame.
i don't regret it but it's hard.
but real life's not easy i suppose.
sometimes i just want to be part of the problem. everyone is.
i mean i pretty much am. but i fight it.
i'm honest as possible.
disregarding rhyme scheme.
ugly poems are more raw.
they hide their scars.
self-control's unfair. i want my fix.
everyone's a loser trying to win
a racecar running on a whim
anorexics wanting to be thin
paper plates wishing to be reused
you can't eat your cake and have it too.
must i go on? i'm depressed.
i want freedom from consequence.
surrender to voices in my head
all screaming different things
when will i be free of this lunacy?
I can relate to a chaotic
I can relate to a chaotic mind. I really enjoyed this. So raw, so blunt, I adore it. I love when you said, "i wish to be uncorrupted
but i'm self-destructive" Kind of struck something in me. Keep it up man ^___^
**if it's an eye for an eye, then we'll all go blind.**
I Surmise
from this poem that u r a neat, thoughtful, disciplined and vivacious person. Or will be because you question life's multiple offerings all in conflict (seemingly). Unity happens eventually. I have one voice in my head, mine. :D
If you have one voice in your
If you have one voice in your head you are quite lucky! I understand where he is coming from though. Torn between what he wants and his own morality that seems to be crumbling. This has a very Bukowski taste to it, I dig it.
I'm 65
There's no room for more than one voice in my head - I think all poets are liars - it's a motto kinda. I don't take words at face value, surfaces are deceiving - there is a beautiful poet under all those layers - There seems to be more moralizing going on here than not. The poet will have to tell us and eventually his work will do that - the writing is huge.
i write my poetry to be
i write my poetry to be truthful. if i were a liar, i would become a politician or a rockstar. hah. this poem is simply about my own battle between my conviction and my temptation. also, i used to have one voice in my head. i made the mistake of taking acid after having been anointed and finding my soul, and i found my ego. and now my head is full of chaos. two sides. ego and soul. it sucks, but at least my suffering makes art...