"The Perfect Drug" 11 - 21 - 02
i look into
your dark eyes
i lose myself
in your guise
a torrent of emotion
consuming view
never want to leave
always be with you
i listen to
your magic voice
i sit and listen
i have no choice
magnetic pulls
puppet strings
your vibrations
unnatural being
i feel your touch
and hit a high
for what reason
i don't know why
you have this effect
an upper on me
feel like an addict
forever yours to be
as you swallow
my being whole
i lose myself
and my soul
into your hands
i trust my life
take my worries
relieve my strife
I really like this poem... it has a great flow and good imagery... my favourite part would definately be:
"magnetic pulls
puppet strings
your vibrations
unnatural being"
One part I think could maybe use a little work is the part that says:
you have this effect
on poor me
"on poor me" seems to be missing a syllable... it doesn't flow quite as well as the rest. Also, it seems like that line is almost unnecessary... we know the effect is on you, so perhaps the space could be used to further the description... what effect? get descriptive!
this poem is great.
cheers,
katy