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My Knight in Black Armor

By Muriel Palanca



The night is born like funeral flowers. The final breath of a gentle breeze rustles through the weary treetops as if provoking the leaves. The silent wings of a fallen angel cradle the misty clouds. His scent is like a gathering storm that will never reach me. The heavens will not cry for me tonight for mercy is an empty promise that was never mine. And yet the stars shiver with anticipation as a knight in black armor comes through my window.

He is quiet as he serenades my curtains to part for him. He glides to my bedside in reverence as if looking into an open casket. I do not turn or give him any inkling that I am awake. Even in my disregard, he knows that I can feel him there, as the infinite space between our separate worlds becomes smaller. The bedsheets are wrinkled with my insomnia, but he lies himself on top of them, so effortlessly as he has done so many nights before. I keep my eyes shut as his leather clad body inches closer to my back, until his mouth is barely a whisper away from my neck.

The slightest of gasps betrays my lips as his hands pull me in and our fingers entwine. He is cold and dead inside with the intensity of the conflicted ocean, yet he ignites a fire inside me where winter has taken place. I cannot speak and have no need to as his eyes penetrate through the labyrinth of my soul, into the very depths of my heart. The blood in my veins rushes through me like thunder, but he listens to the rain that the chaos overshadows.

?Here in your arms my solemn redeemer, my dark guardian angel so fallen from grace. I surrender my secrets and faith unto you, for here in your shadow, I truly feel safe?. These are the words written on the walls of the prison cell inside my mind as a lone violin plays in the background. I do not need iron bars or metal shackles. I wear my apathy like armor. It?s my bulletproof vest when the triggers been pulled. I let it consume me because the wounds keep on bleeding, but with you as my tourniquet, the scars seem to fade.

These moments I live for are too fast, too fleeting, and it tears me to pieces when I have to let go. I?m flirting with disaster and I?m wasting my breath, because with little white lies, I soon become colorblind. I?ll tell you the truth, for once I?ll be honest. I hate to admit what I willingly hide. You deserve better than the wreckage I am. I?m coming undone right before your eyes.

I need you to hold me because your chains keep me steady, when the sky crashes down and my world falls apart. I kneel in its ruins when Eden turns to ashes. May these teardrops be my last as they fall upon the sodden earth. My sorrow turns the dirt into morning lilies, which I gather, in my lifeless fingers. I will place them by my tombstone when I?m laid to rest, for only in my dreams can you save me. Only when my eyes are closed, are you flesh and bone.

I know it?s naﶥ, but sometimes I believe that if I wished hard enough, my wish would come true and I would never wake up. And at the stroke of midnight, you?d appear at my bedside and carry me through my bedroom window. You?d take me with you on your black steed and we?d ride off into the ethereal moonlight. And just like in my bedtime stories, we?d live happily every after in a land far, far away from here?so far away that it doesn?t exist.

But when I am with you, sometimes I believe that a happy ending is not entirely unreachable. It?s a lost cause, I know, for when the daylight breaks, all that is damaged can be seen and somewhere in between is the middleground for good and evil. Please forgive me because I am selfish. I am a sinner and have no right to ask. I know you?ll be gone when the sun swallows night, but I beg you to stay if only for a while. Tomorrow is inevitable and I can?t face it alone. I?ll fight my own battles if you?ll be at my side. I?ll face my reality when the time comes, for the alarm clock keeps ticking and magic is only an illusion.

?But for now, in this moment, you are real to me. And heaven seems like nothing compared to make believe. So if you could pretend to see what I see, just kiss me goodnight and let me sleep for eternity.?