PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

When you love someone, it doesn’t matter how long you’ve known them or if they even give a crap about you. Your mind plays no part in the matter and your heart is free from all sanity. You love them because something in your heart tells you that you’re right even though everyone around you is screaming that you’re wrong. You jump off of the wall you’ve built so high, so many times over again because you could never stand getting hurt. You jump of the wall because you meet that one person who shatters all of your defenses and pushes you to the edge of all your reason. You jump even though there is a 99% chance that your feelings will be returned to you when it’s shoved back in your face. It’s a 99% chance that your world will come crashing down and break into millions of unfixable pieces.

But there is that small seemingly insignificant 1%.  And you hold on to that 1% with everything you’ve got because that one percent is hope. Hope is wishing on every star you see because there might be someone out there wishing for you too. Hope is knowing you’re in a dream, but you let yourself believe it, for a moment, with every fiber of your being because, in that one moment, your world is perfect. Hope is never giving up on someone because 1% is a good enough reason to hold on.

And I’m holding on to that 1%. I’m holding on to it with everything I’ve got left.

But I’ve got nothing left. I have nothing left to give.

Holding on to you is like holding on to barbed wire…and right now, I’m bleeding. I want to let you go. I want to let you go so bad so I won’t have to feel this pain anymore. I want to let you go because you make me feel so pathetic and so stupid for even thinking I had a chance with you. I want to let you go because I feel so worthless and weak when you look at me. I want to let you go because you never gave me a chance. You never let me in. But I don’t know if I could live with the thought in the back of my mind…what if I held on just a bit longer?

I’ve wanted to touch you so many times. Whenever you would sit next to me, I just wanted to reach over and hold your hand so that it could warm the cold winter that has formed inside me. Whenever you would be in my line of vision, I wanted to come up behind you in the hallway and hug you just to see how you felt in my arms. But I don’t…I can’t…and I won’t, because I couldn’t take it if I held on to you and you let me go.

People say that if you love someone, you should let them go…but you know what? I just can’t do it. Tell me you don’t like me. Tell me you will never ever feel the same way for me as I feel for you. Tell me that I mean absolutely nothing to you and I never will. Tell me all of this before I’ve dug too deep to get out. Tell me before I’ve hit rock bottom.

Tell me because I’m not strong enough to give up on you. I don’t want to give up on you just yet, because once I move on I’m never going back. I can never go back.

Tell me 1% is good enough. Tell me you feel something for me. Tell me I have a chance. Give me a reason to hold on. Give me anything at all. Give me some hope or take it all away. It’s all or nothing. It’s now or never.

It’s your turn to choose. I’m holding on to you right now. I’m holding on to you at this very moment.   I’m holding on to you with everything I have. I’m giving you my heart 100%, not 99.

It’s your choice to break it. It’s your choice to let me go.