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I look inside my self today
to see what I may find to say
The dark intentions creeping in
the terror just begins
They grab my heart they grab my soul
The dreaded things take ahold….

It’s my life….
it’s my fight
just disappear will you?
Just leave me be can you?
It’s my life
it’s my fight….

Corruption begins in the core
I can’t take it anymore
abduction of one’s own free will
your only objective is to kill
I am not your slave
I am only here to save...

It’s my life….
it’s my fight
just disappear will you?
Just leave me be can you?
It’s my life
it’s my fight….

I push it all away from here
My end is not yet near
I am falling so far down
but I’m in this fight for another round
Get away from me
no one wants you can’t you see?

It’s my life….
it’s my fight
just disappear will you?
Just leave me be can you?
It’s my life
it’s my fight….

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This poem is about everyone’s inner struggle with their darker self. They are in a battle with not doing what’s wrong. In a battle always choosing the right things and pushing the bad away. And they just want their dark self to leave them

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last updated 20 March 2013 - 1:40pm
©11 February 2013 - 2:07pm — kubolchi
20 March 2013 - 3:11pm — Affirmation (not verified)
Affirmation's picture

I agree with the above

I agree with the above comments. It makes the poem become more a pop song quality with the repeition, there's good ideas here though. My guess is you write to certain songs or music so may have filtered through.

20 March 2013 - 4:13pm — kubolchi
kubolchi's picture

actually yes Iw rote this

actually yes I wrote this while listening to skillet and I went more for metal instead of pop, but it all depends on the way you read it I guess but thanks very much.

11 February 2013 - 2:55pm — 9inety
9inety's picture

You have talent,

 I have only this bit of advise. Try to be more consistent, if you use punctuation then use it throughout your poems. That goes for capitalizing letters.

 

The idea and purpose of your words comes through I understand what you are saying.Be consistent. Take your time check your work. Check the spelling, all it takes is a little more time.

 

I do not use capital letters and little or, no punctuation. It is my way. Some in my audience get annoyed at the lack of punctuation. I just use breaks in the words to give rhythm to my poems. I hope this helps you. Keep up the great work!!!

 

Peace Dylan

 

 

 

 

"One of the best results of life, is the torment of love"

Dylan Eliot

12 February 2013 - 10:42pm — allets
allets's picture

A Few Brush Strokes

Amen to consistency in punctuation, vary your repetition to prevent the sing-song quality, the poem was very long but was mostly no new ideas - say it once, then you are done ~~A~~