I’m sitting alone outside while the sun is shining bright.
Painful memories run over my heart and my feelings I try to hold in tight.
I look up at the clouds.
Then more memories flow in making me want to just cry out loud.
These memories start to turn my clouds a light gray.
I can’t stop these feelings because I can’t make these memories go away.
As I start to fall deeper into my thoughts.
I start to feel like I’m loosing this war inside of myself. I feel like I’ve been caught.
Caught and held against my will.
I’ve been captured by this pain I feel.
I see my clouds become a dark gray, something ugly that I can’t stop.
My clouds turn black and then I feel an icy raindrop.
At first they start falling lightly and I try to avoid the wetness of this rain.
I try to hide the expressions on my face,
the ones that let’s everyone see my pain.
I feel the drops all over me and I can’t get dry.
I feel them on my face because these raindrops are the tears that I cry.
This cloud comes over me every once in a blue moon.
I pray that it leaves but to me, this storm is never over soon.
A flood becomes apparent to see.
This flood is rising quickly inside of me.
I start to see lightening and it strikes the very core of my heart. I
t’s breaking away the very little of me that hasn’t been torn apart.
These raindrops has flooded me and reached my knees.
These raindrops are making me panic. Sometimes I feel like I can’t breathe.
I try to think of something different in hopes that this rain will stop.
I close my eyes but I still feel the wetness of these raindrops.
I keep my eyes close as I pray for this to just go away because my raindrops I can taste.
I open my eyes, I can’t believe this flood has reached my waist.
It keeps rising and my tears get colder.
I feel an icy shiver as this flood starts rising over my shoulders.
It reaches over my chin.
These tears are taking my back, making me hurt all over again.
This flood has covered my eyes and I can hear thunder. T
his flood has covered the top of my head and now I have gone under.
I can’t breathe and I’m trying to call for help.
I need to be rescued but I know I’m here alone, all by myself.
As I feel another raindrop fall, I start to hear the slowness of my heartbeats sound.
And I let that be the last raindrop that falls from my eyes as I allow myself to drown.