Circumstances Were Saddly Mistaken

Like a shot in the veins

Life tore through me with pains

And taught me yet again how to fall



Constantly reminded now not to choke

Looked so down upon like a joke

I have no idea now where to run



Unfortunately saddend by the news

I only did what I knew to do

And I slipped and fell down yet again



Once was told that I was too blind to see

That the only life I would find was on bended knee

Now do you see where it's taken me?



Friends kissing friends

Playing pretend

I have no clue when this maddness will end



It makes me hurt

Maybe makes me cry

I don't wanna live, just let me die



Depressive state is now where I wait

Stress level high, I'm barely awake

Heart beats faster with the time, turns my life into a rhyme



I was always the one right there for you

Now that I am where you were, what are you to do?

Do you even care that much?



Found a new lover, once called a friend

Much to old, too nieve to make amends

Look where I have taken you, what did I do?



Growing up, I guess was not enough

I never thought life would be this tough

Maybe a father 400 miles away, why does life end up this way?



Singing so softly, every single word

Trying hard not to mess up, don't want to disturb

But don't you see, we lost to ourselves?



Told me truths that were hidden throughout my own lies

It makes me hurt, makes me want to cry

I should have known all along, I'm too nieve and wrong



Sadder songs playing in my head each and every day

Just let me die, let me fade away,

I am so sorry for what I've done



Consequences to actions that were long past due

The thought pops in my head each time I think of you

I wonder what if and if I can, what does it take to be a man?



Much too much stress to want to move

Lay down right here is exactly what I want to do

Please don't make me face the day, I am sorry in every way



Saddly mistaken are words I know oh so well and true

I hear them each time I try to make a guess about you

Your lies hidden deep within, let them out tell me your sin



It is exactly what I've done too

Every little hurt that we have all been through

I want to make sure you are ok, I want to know how sure are you?



Saddly mistaken, I have to bring this to an end

This means but jibberish unless you are my friend

Please don't ever turn out like I am

I am a problem that will never mend

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Everything this poem refers to cannot be writtin down, so my every hidden thought would come out, and I would be nothing. I would mean nothing to anyone, not even myself.  I wrote this to express how I feel about all of this, is it so wrong to want to die and fade away? Is it so wrong to wish I had never existed where I am at all? The only thing I'd miss...is you.

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Danielle Wagner's picture

Joel...you write about death a lot don't you?? It's really sad! Good tho! :D