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Slowly very slowly
Slowly (very slowly) the poem
is born upon the page:
sounds assemble into words
take root
& transfigure into boughs
& leaves (emerald extravaganzas)
& petals of a thousand hues
Over the vast immaculate sierra--the wind
(imperceptible)
blows over
bright battlements
bathed in sunlight
on white desert solitudes
Over the page
vowels erect gothic citadels of luxurious sounds
& soulful rhythms:
exquisite architectures glittering in the night--
bridges which connect
the worlds.
Jim, I like poems about poems, about writing itself. I know about the SLOWLY. "Take root" is good on its own line, yes, then the three &'s show a progression of the poem thoughts into a tree. Good show of growth. Then, next stanza, sets the tree on a plain, the wind impreceptible because in the mind creating, no wind. Next stanza suggested to me all the possible images the mind sees already, then the page again, as if there always MORE in the mind than can be put on the page, but slowly (last stanza) the parts of language build. It did jar me a little to read of "wild" sounds in the citadel as I connected that more with chants or hymnals, but your way has an Eastern flavor, which is also conveyed by using citadel rather than cathedral. Don't know if I would use "bridges," but would try for something to go with a citadel or music. Hope you don't mind the input, I like the poem or wouldn't bother!! There's one typo (only one):3rd line "assemble." I like that line because it connects with the citadel with people assembling, so there is an extended metaphor between line 3 and the structures these words are creating. Enjoyed reading this.