By strange circumstance, on a mountain path, I stopped when I saw a familiar face
It was my own face from some time ago, when my cheeks shined with youth and my eyes didn't crease when I smiled
(Not that I smiled much back then.)
I walked up to him with a confused smile and he walked up to me with dread
Are you me? he asked slowly. Am I dead?
I did not know, but I suspected we would part ways unscathed.
I suppose I ought to tell you what you want to know, I said. That seems the right thing to do.
His eyes glanced up the mounain trail, and he told me a boy was waiting for him, a boy who he loved like no one else
A boy he was afraid would leave.
He knew by my face that seperation was coming, though he misinterpreted my grief, and weeping, begged me how to make him stay
...
It'll be a long time before you can fall asleep without thinking about him, I told myself sadly
He was so young, precious boy, looking at me with wide, crying eyes
Begging me to promise him, reassure him, that it would all be alright
It'll be a long time before you stop tasting him in your mouth when you breathe,
But not so long, only about a month
He shook his head and pleaded with me, begged me to make him stay
I love him! he told me. You know I love him!
And even that could not make me cry, although grief settled into my chest
He loves you, too, I said to myself.
And I waited with myself as he cried; fat, silent tears streaming down his cheeks
As he shook with pain and as he trembled with fear.
I love him! he pleaded. Make him stay!
I would if I could, I told myself. But he is yours; you are mine.
And when the crying had abated, I wiped his tears away and held him close for a moment
Go to him, I said, and when it's over, come back to me
And I watched him, enviously, as he hiked up the path, going to someone I love
But that was for him, and afraid I'd interrupt, I turned down the path,
And hiked back
If I Met Me At 7 or 18 or 25
After I dashed thoughts of unintegrated schizophenia - what would I say on a mountain? Hang in there it gets better then worse then better again. Or your only daughter dies at age 43. Cultivate friends your age or younger, older friends die first. I do not know what I'd impart about the future: Nam, 09/11, Desert Storm, 1967-8 Race Riots/ Rebellion, Malcolm X, Obama, Covid-19. The struggle - to live. Birth pain. I think I'd embrace them, not go, they are me. Maturation metaphor/theme, a newer you - a better model - ok. :D
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~A~
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This is absolutely
This is absolutely brilliant! Absolutely!!!!
Starward
gracious thanks to you
as always
I am so glad you are back
I am so glad you are back with us!!!!
Starward