Home

Perfectly Defective Incoherent Coherence

"How grave it most is to stomp on a grave."

"What would it matter; matter cannot feel?

  It is most just, for it is just unreal."

"We must slave to rules or risk being slaves."

 

"I'm lusting, longing, lacking, and losing."

"What do you need; what is to be done?"

"Meaning. I'm nothing, nowhere, and no one."

"How will you find your personal soothing?"

"Self-indulgent sin to savor something."

 

"Death, answer me this. Why do you steal life?"

"Bunk! How can you give intangible gifts?"

"But, I am Hope. I must take away strife."

"And, why the need for such spiritual lifts?"

"As a warning, to reminisce in death."

"I am Death. I remind those of living."

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this to identify the many fallacies in our society that we blindy accept either without question or care. It is doublethink. This piece addresses illogical hypocrisy, disillusionment, and distorted values/appreciation, which is all written in ten syllable lines and portrayed through varying dialogue.

View hopelessly-candid's Full Portfolio
  • Login to post comments
  • 539 reads

last updated 7 May 2016 - 9:58am
©3 September 2015 - 9:43am — hopelessly-candid
24 October 2016 - 12:36am — S74rw4rd
S74rw4rd's picture

Revisiting for a third time,

Revisiting for a third time, second time today, I see/hear the music in the poem now.  Wow!

Starward

23 October 2016 - 11:40pm — S74rw4rd
S74rw4rd's picture

Revisiting this one, I found

Revisiting this one, I found it to be even more powerful  Very few poets impress me the second time around; Wallace Stevens is one of them, and there are not many who can move in his circle.  I think you are one of those who do and who will.

Starward

17 December 2015 - 6:28pm — lizardking
lizardking's picture

double-minded

this is absolutely beautiful

17 December 2015 - 11:08pm — hopelessly-candid
hopelessly-candid's picture

Thank you very much ^_^ I

Thank you very much ^_^ I really appreciate it 

14 October 2015 - 8:38pm — S74rw4rd
S74rw4rd's picture

Sorry to have been delayed in

Sorry to have been delayed in reading this one.  I have read it a couple of times right now, and I don't have quite the words to describe my response.  The profound emotion is well described; but the glimpse of the soul, the unusually wise soul, behind these words is delightfully startling.  I wish I had been as wise as you are, now, when I was your age, then.  It would have spared me several stupid mistakes.  If you are producing this kind of poetry now, I cannot even begin to imagine the greatness you will be writing in years, even decades, to come.  I applaud this poem and its evidence of your high talent.

Starward

14 October 2015 - 9:18pm — hopelessly-candid
hopelessly-candid's picture

I feel so honored to receive

I feel so honored to receive your compliments! I was apprehensive about this piece. It's a bit different from my usual stuff, so I wasn't too sure how it would liked. But, I'm so thankful for your feedback! 

16 September 2015 - 1:48am — AngryLaughter
AngryLaughter's picture

Intangible

Yet, gifted.

9 October 2015 - 9:05pm — hopelessly-candid
hopelessly-candid's picture

Thank you for reading 

Thank you for reading 

14 September 2015 - 7:49am — Dont_punch_grandpa
Dont_punch_grandpa's picture

This is masterful, just. . . . . Masterfully done. There is no way this did not take alot of thought, its just to well done.

"Some people die at 25 but buried at 75" Benjamin Franklin 

9 October 2015 - 9:06pm — hopelessly-candid
hopelessly-candid's picture

Thank you so very much. It

Thank you so very much. It was a fun piece to write... something different. I very much appreciate your comments!  :)