I'm feeling sentimental.
Watching afternoon movies
Alone.
Examining
The hero's purpose.
Contrasting it
To my own.
Day to day.
Travelling with
Limited vision.
Walking
Spotlit
And talking
Jargon
To the floor.
My metaphors
Are only
Half-assed observations
Adorned with
Better clothes
And spoken
In the comfort
Of the dark.
Real poems for
Unreal times
Are what I offer
The mime:
A kind of comfort
Knowing that he cannot speak
The lies
That render us weak
But will always listen.
So somebody
Must've heard me..
And I'd like to think
By missing school today
I came to be
Closer to God.
It may be odd
But I think he invited me home
For breakfast
And a movie.
*******************
"SIT DOWN FOR BREAD.
TODAY YOU ARE MINE."
He told me to grab a chair
And enjoy
The villain's antics
For they were crucial
To the point
He had to illustrate.
"NOTE HIS MOVEMENT
INTO SIN, CHILD
FROM THE COMFORT OF YOUR COUCH.
HE MAY NOT BE THE MOST DEVOUT
BUT HERE'S TO POTENTIAL."
And I saw..
Oh god, a smile came to me
When I saw
That against my intuition
I liked the scoundrel somewhat later
Knowing he was hero
In another land.
That his dreams came to fruition
As he extended his hand
Before he died...
"THEY ALWAYS GET WHAT'S COMING
BUT SOMETIMES IT'S THE ONLY THING
THAT KEEPS THEM FROM RUNNING."
For the first time
I watched
Past the cliches
And impossible set-ups.
Through the make-up
And uppity get-ups.
And saw the real:
Heaven and Hell
Through motion picture reels.
"DON'T EVER LET THEM TELL YOU
THE BOOK IS BETTER:
MY PAGES ARE SCATTERED.
AND EVERYTHING YOU SEE
IS A MANIFESTATION OF ME.
LET THE HARDCOVER TREASURE
BE THEN A GUIDE
ON HOW TO INTERPRET
THE DIRT
AND DISABLE THE MINES."
A pang of me ensued:
"I'm not sufficient to carry you.
There's no weight
Too small
For my hypocrit shoulders.
Feathers, my father,
Become like boulders."
"SELFISH, INDEED.
A WAY TO ESCAPE
ALL THE PEOPLE IN NEED
OF YOUR LIGHT."
"But I am not functioning right.
I deceived an angel for countless nights
And put foolish ideas
In strangers.
Try as I might
I beg you,
Faith in me
Is the gravest danger."
"STOP SECOND-GUESSING.
I'M NOT TELLING YOU
TO CONTINUE
IGNORING YOUR BLESSINGS.
GRANTED, MY GIRTH
CAN CRUSH YOU TO BONES
IF YOU LIFT WITH YOUR MUSCLES
AND NOT YOUR SOUL."
"I don't know
I feel like spreading your word
From my lips
Is as foul as it goes.
How can a little girl sip
From my tainted wine?"
"I AM NOT ASKING BLASPHEMY:
FOR YOU TO BE ME.
ONLY TO BASK IN ME
AS ONE OF MY
COUNTLESS CHILDREN
WHO ONE DAY WILL SEE ME."
"Your children are beautiful.
Yet we hurt
Each other
As if stemmed
From different trunks.
Branching off and breaking
The further we stray
From the base."
"SHOW ME YOUR FACE.
IT IS SMITTEN
WITH WORRY AND WEIGHT.
BUT IS IT COMPARABLE
TO MINE?
THE EMBODIMENT OF SUFFERING!
THE UNSELFISHLY DIVINE!"
"Father forgive me.
For I have made even Sin himself
Look pale
As the holy ghost.
This life is temporary
And I abandoned you
When you reached for me most.
Even now, I write of you
Merely in context of what I think
You would say."
"BUT REMEMBER
YOU ARE NOT STEERING
THE CONVERSATION
ANY WHICH WAY
WITHOUT MY HAND."
"It's only appropriate
You would have
The final word
Spoken through me.
Amen."
I've read every last one of your poems (more than once) and this one still sticks out. I think I will be coming back to this one again and again because it's got insight even I can learn from. It deeply saddens me that you had these thoughts at one time and something happened to cause you to stray from God. I've been having conversations like this with God recently. And despite the fact that I was the one of the biggest screw-ups that ever walked this earth, He still forgave me and He forgives me EVERY SINGLE DAY.
God bless.
AWESOME
WORK
ON THIS PIECE
Throughout this piece I heard Whitman's lines of:
"stop this day and night with me and you shall posess the origin of all poems..."
and I have to say he is right. Not only am I unfit to say anything about this I also have no right.
Worry never so much about what mortals think but rather what the Lord has to offer. They say that the sky's the limit. However, you have proved here, that they have no idea what they're talking about. God created day, night, heaven, earth, etc... therefore, he ought to be the one we consult, just like you did here.
God bless you... this is beyond commentary...