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The Stinging
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June 2007 I continued watching
But amongst the stinging pain in my heart,
I stopped caring
Stopped trying to change,
When nothing ever makes the stinging go away
I continued breathing
Every breath more heavy
Like an anchor weighing me down
Further and further under the current
Deep enough to drown
The stinging continues,
The deeper I sink underneath
Drowning forever
Suffocating
Lost in a sea of sadness
The stinging still continues
Like there is something poking inside my head
Laying on a bed of pins and needles
Being robbed of my sanity
Razorblade kisses and crimson tears stain my face
Still there is a stinging deep within
Carve into myself my hatred, my sin
Stick the blade in deeper,
Press down a little bit harder
Take the pills
Drink them down with the bottle
Waste away the time
If only I had a gun
Nothing, however, can kill the stinging
It goes on and on,
Burning deeper inside
Soon there will be nothing left
My soul, already dead
So cold, I cannot warm up to anyone
Cannot love someone,
And in return cannot be loved ever again
You cannot feel love when you have no soul
Look into my eyes
Once full of color and glowed so bright
But now they are empty
Why did I get abandoned and left in such a miserable state
Is this fate
Destined to be alone forever
Seclude in the darkness for eternity
That way no one else can reject a cold heart like mine
It is not worth getting back up
Not when the stinging never ends
Everyone becomes a stranger, even the closest friends
Its hard to stay alive when you are so broken inside
But I continue with no reason
Hoping one day that it will get easier
The stinging still goes on
I am afraid the stinging will continue even once I am gone
a poison so dense it roots itself in your veins
The more you try to dig it out
The more it'll cause you pain
You tear yourself apart until you are no more
And yet that pain seems to continue
Even as you stand at suicide's tenth level door
Know however that the door does not lead to bliss
Although you could open everything up and follow through
There will be yet plenty you will have missed
Although this stinging may seem like it will go forever
All poisons eventually run their course
And you will become stronger for all your endeavours
For what hasn't killed you yet only prepares you
For all the things yet to come
You'll know the mistakes to miss and what chances are true
And perhaps end up lighting the world of someone
And in turn they may light up your own
Friends and family sometimes draw away
But if they love and care, they'll never truly go
They'll come back to you... just wait for the day
And you'll be glad you made it out in the end
Aren't we all afraid of that pain...of course...I feel as though I am used to it all...I think when no one cares..you start to care less yourself...
Awesome read