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Only Got Burned
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December 2006 The pain I feel is already so severe
Into my heart goes another rip and another tear
I feel too far gone, like i am no longer here
I may die soon I pray, but I feare
Crying and dying I am too far broken inside
All of my scars I must cover and hide
I must put on a mask and put the pain to the side
Even though it hurts like hell and feels like I have died
Can I survive this living nightmare
How many more days of this can I take
The depression is an ugly demon
Something I have not been able to shake
More cuts and wounds and slashes
Can't forget all I have been through
Wanted love to stick around
Although it always seemed so uncaring
Love is now considered a dangerous mistake
Not wanting any more of this
Not anymore of this can I take
When all I long is to be in his arms and to share a kiss
But oh no, he vanished right before my very eyes
Had he all along been wearing a disguise
Tearing me apart while I waited for my demise
I can't believe how I got lost inside his love
He was the one I thought was sent from up above
But when the ashes stopped flying
and I saw the truth....
I learned how foolish I had been
I loved for all the wrong reasons
Wanted to believe for once that I was good enough
To have those feelings returned
But in the end
I only got burned....
"I may die soon I pray, but I feare"
Fear is misspelled; not even in old english, as far as I can tell, is that correct.
Stanza two, you rhyme inside with side; 'tis unintentional repitition.
That's the start of it, maybe I'll returnfor a full critique later, however, this poem needs a story to make sense, and I grow tired of being spoon-fed, and reading the same line 2-4 times with new words. It is a requirement that you learn to show me how you feel, rather than tell me, to earn my enjoyment. You may choose otherwise after you've learned, but I think you'll find that chance rare.