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All the emotions

All the dizzying flashing lights that are my emotions,

floating around in my head randomly being triggered by whoever cares to push a button.

All the hurt

Th piercing, burning feeling in my gut that won't go away and i know exactly why.

It's because i'm alive.

All the crap in my life, the built up hatred and displeasure for the world packed into one wide-spread pain throughout my whole body.

fingers numb, chainsaws in my stomach, the burn of adrenaline or lactic acid burning into my muscles because of the stress, the feeling.

I wish I could stop feeling.

Stop feeling the ways people hurt.

Rape, Murder, Drugs, Prostitution, Lies, War, imperfectness, hate agaisnt one another.

why does this go one, ever since iw as a little kid WHY DOES THIS ALL GO ON!?!

I wish I could stop feeling

that my life didn't matter.

That the world wouldn't miss one little person.

the tears rolling down my cheeks and the hot blood in my veins crying for release to escape the pain.

The pain that stems for the though that the only way to make myself heard is to kill myself and make a messy job of it.

The pain that tells me that "this kid wouldn't give half a fuck if you exploded in front of him right now".

The pain that made me write this, spur of the moment. for everyone to see.