I always hate

having to share a bathroom

when I take a shit


This rarely happens

at bars and malls

or movie theatres and trains stations


It usually happens at work

that I take my stall

and try to knock off

5 or 10 minutes of time


I think the worst one

was one time I was in a stall

and someone took another stall


Whoever it is

has a walkie talkie

and I hear my manager get paged


then I hear

my manager’s voice

answering the page

and I’m thinking

“Yeah this figures;”


but I stay put

trying to finish up

while waiting it out

hoping he leaves before me


then I hear him groaning

“Oh God!  Oh God!”

as he tries to do his business

He’s whining and moaning

thru his crapper break


and I’m thinking

“Oh great, I can’t even

take a shit in peace.

Work really sucks!”


And all I can think of

is how am I supposed

to respect the guy

after a display like this


It’s hard to take that

I’ll have to leave the stall

and return to work

taking orders from a guy

that can’t even shit with dignity


I’m sorry but it’s hard for me

to imagine a crueler slap in the face


God truly wanted

to fuck with my mind

on this one

I wipe my ass

and go back to work

really feeling shafted


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