A Selfish Prayer for Eternal Life



I lay me down to sleep


I pray you swear to me


That this lost soul will keep


For just one more morrow


The sun shine anew for


Then I will rise up to


To breathe in this world just


More time again and once


I will give praise to your


And love to you always


Amy Riberdy

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is a two - part poem - a message within a message.

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Judy Costea's picture

Amy, I don't see this as a selfish Prayer, but as a beautiful soul asking God for more time... Very beautiful write and very unique as well...
Peace and Love...

Karyn Indursky's picture

I love this poem a lot. I haven't seen anyone write a poem within a poem before and never realize it was feasible. I don't think anyone could pull it off like you did. I can't commend you enough on this. I hope to see this poem published in a book one day and go placess because it has that much talent in it. God bless you, Amy.

Athalia Lystra's picture

I am glad I realized that there was a poem within a poem in here, before reading your comment at the end... doesn't make me feel like such an amature after all. :)
I love the style and structe, it is very unique and creative. The title was just the perfect touch to complete this masterpiece.

Richard H Elliott's picture

A very well worked use of form and emotion. I know you can write similar to this, but I would hope you needn't. Although as I say to Wild Bill.M, it all makes a good story.

Give yourself you, that is all I have seen through the year(s), yes years.

;-) RE.

iqbalar's picture

Well-composed and thought-provoking. Thanks for sharing this poem.

Marianne Chrisos's picture

Great work.

Yeung Alice's picture

It's a very well-structured poem It's fabulous... alice

Tara Minor's picture

This is a very beautiful poem, it brings such warmth when read. Very creative too.

Rae Deslich's picture

WOW- this one's really good. Besides the power of the phrase "please let me live one more day", I like how you made sure that the short lines were integral to the larger poem- i.e., how "Let the sun shine anew for Me" is not just a poem interrupted by random short lines, but are semantically incorporated into the poem.

Cassandra Sagan's picture

Very nice, indeed. Thoroughly enjoyed this poem.

Roz Turner's picture

Hi Amy Yet another good poem by you. I just loved it. A message indeed for all of us. Thanks!!!! Cya Roz

Edwin Robinette's picture

This is really cute, both messages, smart idea!

Deborah E Russell's picture

This form of prayer is an old one. Seems the big thing with religions was trying to find a way to keep faith without compromising to politics and unwarranted persecution through political realms... Ok...this is probably more than you need. This is a very nice piece, noteworthy. Thank you for sharing. Deborah

qibr's picture

Every moment is special isn't it, and every extra day we have is like a divine gift, even though many of us take them for granted. Brilliant.

qibr's picture

beautiful and haunting.

qibr's picture

Wowow!!...this is sooooo good! Wat a wonderful way of writing poetry...OHyes Amy u re one of my best loved here...Words now is not enough to express how much this poem has struck me... but believe me, it struck me real deep!!! Simply superb!!!

qibr's picture

this is just about one of the most beautiful poems that i have ever had the privilage to read.... makes the soul feel good.... take care and keep them coming...:O)