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Bird Diet (Short Story)
Thumbing through the channels one ambiguous day, a particular infomercial caught the attention of Kirsten Hoover's phone dials. Having dieted before with minimal success, Kirsten Hoover finalized a transaction that promised instant results. Instantly indeed, her body began itching, followed by a blossoming of feathers, a clawing of feet, and even a yearning for eggs to lay.
"This is all wrong," she attempted to express, only to hear herself chirping. This, she thought, could not possibly turn me lean. That is, until with the flap of a wing, she found herself airborne along a far-away hemisphere in the wrong migration zone. By the time she flapped back, the weight she so struggled with had all disappeared. She was then shot down by a hunting man whose diet consisted of her.
