PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

Both you and your younger brother have been sleeping on couches in the family room for years. You have a shared bedroom on the other side of the house, but you almost never sleep in there. There's no television in there and you have trouble falling asleep without something playing in the background. When you do sleep in your bed it's lonely, and you end up crying yourself to sleep. There is nothing to distract you from your thoughts which often turn negative.

You prefer to have something on like AdultSwim or Nick @ Nite. Even though you are young you prefer to watch the more adult shows, the ones with more mature language and darker themes. It makes you feel more grown up than what you are. Besides, it lets you not be alone with yourself in the quiet which can be scary at times. It's easier and safer to just plug yourself in front of the TV. That way you can pretend like you're part of the show. 

You get lost in your imagination quite often, forging make believe worlds where you are the main character in the story. That's why you like video games like Final Fantasy and The Legend of Zelda so much, so you can pretend to be the hero in a story. So you can feel like someone important who all the world is depending on. It keeps you from facing the reality of your life, the life wherein you feel like anything but the hero. The life where you are just going through the motions and struggling to get by.

Reality isn't as interesting as fantasy. Honestly, reality is quite boring most of the time. It's a lot of school work for most of the day; and you only enjoy yourself for a few hours in the afternoon when go outside to play or a few hours in the evening when you play video games. Your own life seems dull compared to the amazing adventures that these fictitious characters get to go on; and you don't know why you should bother living your own life when other people's lives seem more interesting.

I do this too, sometimes. I get lost in books, living vicariously through the characters written in them. I put my own life on hold for a few moments of relief. Sometimes we imagine what it will be like to be happily married to the love of our life. Other times we imagine ourselves in some important role where people look to us for answers. We can't bear the fact that most of the time few people approve of us at all. We aren't necessarily outcasts from society, but we certainly don't feel important and admirable. There are people who are way better at making friends. There are people who don't get all nervous and awkward around girls. There are people who are more successful in school, work, relationships and all the other responsibilities that come with being a human. Most of the time fantasy is just more appealing than reality, so we hide in our fantasies, lulling ourselves under a fog of make believe.

It just dawned on me recently why we do this. We do this because it is only in our fantasies that we feel genuinely accepted. Our fear of rejection has made us cautious about taking chances with other people. You see, it's impossible to be rejected if we never put ourselves out there. Whether it's playing a video game to fulfill the desire to be someone great, or watching a pornographic video to fulfill the desire of being sexually wanted, our fantasies allow us to experience a substitute fulfillment without the risk of being rejected.

It's safe inside our imagination, Little Evan, nothing can hurt us there unless we decide to let it in; but it cannot and will not ever give us genuine and lasting satisfaction. Life is not meant to be lived alone, even though technology has made it increasingly more possible to do so. Life is meant to be shared and experienced with others. Maybe we never save the world from an evil sorcerer, but we can make a difference here and now that actually matters. Imagination is a wonderful tool, but it should not be the end goal of our life. Imagination should drive us to experience the best that life has to offer us instead of giving us an escape from life itself. 
 

When we go and live our life we always risk rejection. We always risk the chance that things will not go our way and hurt will greet us where we expected comfort. But the alternative life, the life lived in isolated comfort hurts even more in the end. That life is a selfish one and you'll come to find that it always disappoints in the end. When we live for one entertaining pleasure after another, we give up the chance of being any kind of hero at all. Instead, I hope you have the courage to be active in your community, make new friends, try new things, experience life with other people. We may not be able to save the world but we are able to make a difference in the lives of others. Remember, you don't have to have a flashy life to be heroic, all you need to do is show up with consistent integrity in the real life that you have. This is how you become the hero of your story: you boldly live the life God gave you instead of pretending to live the life you wish you had.

From me to you,

Big Evan