PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

I've been sharing these letters with dad and both of our sisters, I hope you don't mind. We're all doing pretty well for ourselves, though I'll admit that I'm as surprised to be saying so as you are to hear it. There were so many hard years in my life, not the least of which being the one you are going through now; but we come from hearty stock, Little Evan, and all these hard years will serve to season you into a strong, compassionate and resilient man.

Dad's response has partly been to apologize for not being more than who he happened to be; but I hope you know, as I have learned to know, that he really did do the best he could. He just walked a hard road, covered with potholes of pain. He's a stubborn man, and stubborn men learn stubborn lessons. You'll learn more than a few of your own; but don't discount your own stubbornness. It's gonna bite you in the ass sometimes, but it will serve you in the long run. It will solidify who you are and what you believe; and I can honestly say that you're a good person, Little Evan, and you won't let this harsh, cruel world take that from you. As for dad and you, believe it or not, he'll become one of your dearest friends. He really is proud of you, and that pride will grow with every passing year. You don't have to take my word for it. Just wait and see.

Anyway, I'm writing this letter to the Little Evan who asked dad, crying, "Why don't I have a best friend?" I don't remember asking dad that question, but I do believe him when he says that I asked him. He reminded me of it yesterday; and while I don't remember asking dad, I do remember asking God, our Heavenly Father, that question all the time. That and one other, "Why does no one love me?" Little Evan, I know exactly where you are right now. I know how rejected you feel. How it feels like you always get picked last and are never anyone's first choice. I know you feel like a mistake right now, but I promise you that you are loved. And it's when you take that chance to love that you realize how much you add to this world. How it really is a better place because you are in it.

I wish I could tell you that life gets easier, that someday you aren't lonely anymore, but I can't promise you that, Little Evan. You have many lonely seasons ahead of you yet, one of which the Big Evan writing you now is persevering through. Life doesn't get easier, but you do get stronger. "Don't pray for an easy life; pray for the strength to endure a difficult one." Bruce Lee said that. He knew what he was talking about. Someday you are going to learn how to lean into your pain and solitude; and you'll even learn to cherish them as the precious teachers they are.

Don't worry though, I do have some good news! You don't end up with one best friend. You end up with two best friends! Nathan is going to be the best man in your wedding, and someday he will admire you as much as you admire him now! And you haven't even met Walter yet. He'll show up a couple years from now when you start highschool. He looks like Jimi Hendrix and you'll never once wonder about the sincerity of your friendship. From the day you two first meet you'll be as thick as thieves!

Just make sure to stand up to that bully, James Smith, by remaining seated. By refusing to stand up when he arrogantly demands that you get out of your seat even though you were sitting there first. Just say no and let him hoot, holler and cuss you out. All you're going to say is no, over and over; and after he's through throwing a temper tantrum, he'll storm off and never come back to bother you again. After your resolve is tested, Walter and Skyler will introduce themselves, thanking you for getting rid of James. They'd been trying for years and nothing worked.

Stand up to bullies, Little Evan, even when you're afraid. Especially when you're afraid. Trust me, they are just as fearful as you are, if not more so. Only a coward picks on the helpless. Only the weakest of people belittles the human who already feels small. They may harass you for a while, but they always leave eventually, just as soon as you prove to them that you're not going to take their harassment laying down. But I hope you don't hate them, even though you have every right to.

Remember that they are hurting, too. They feel just as unloved and insecure as you do. That's why they behave so terribly, to hide from the world how terrible they feel inside. What they are doing and will do to you is wrong, it's unfair and you deserve to be treated better; but when you learn to love even your enemies and show compassion and kindness toward your most viscious tormentors, you walk away better off for it. Don't let them rob you of your goodness, Little Evan. Show them that no matter what they do to you they can never steal your worth unless you let them.

From me to you,

Big Evan