Surrender

Folder: 
Depression

Rendered powerless, I surrender,

One last time.

Gagging on the sickly aftertaste

of the bitter pills swallowed.

Still, easier to digest than this life,

with all its sugar coated pain killers

I never could stomach.

Choking on my own vile vomit

Panic restores the realization that

the glittering prize is ever closer.

And those bitter pills taste sweeter yet.



Everything is okay now.

This wave that washes over me

brings a peace I know is

only the beginning.

In my semi-transparent consciousness

I turn to you.

You in all your splendour

are not comparable to anything.

You too have felt the touch of

Cold steel upon your naked skin.

The mere thought of you,

Shatters the silence in my mind

And I know one last time isn’t tonight.

Rendered powerless, I surrender

To you.



I can’t help but laugh when I

Catch a small glimpse of myself in

The yellow light of the hospital toilets.

All the colour drained from my skin

except the black stains left from the

miraculous charcoal.



Fuck you!

Fuck you in all your wonder

Fuck you for giving a fuck

This is the hardest pill I could ever swallow

Fuck you for making me live.

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Ben's picture

this is a great poem, i felt the intense emotion, and i can understand it very well

Karyn Indursky's picture

Out of your poems, this one shows your essence the best or so I think. It has depths to your character and ability to write emotinally while getting your points across. It's also interesting how no one ever knows if they persona is you or someone else. Great write. Stroke of genius.