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Surrender
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Depression Rendered powerless, I surrender,
One last time.
Gagging on the sickly aftertaste
of the bitter pills swallowed.
Still, easier to digest than this life,
with all its sugar coated pain killers
I never could stomach.
Choking on my own vile vomit
Panic restores the realization that
the glittering prize is ever closer.
And those bitter pills taste sweeter yet.
Everything is okay now.
This wave that washes over me
brings a peace I know is
only the beginning.
In my semi-transparent consciousness
I turn to you.
You in all your splendour
are not comparable to anything.
You too have felt the touch of
Cold steel upon your naked skin.
The mere thought of you,
Shatters the silence in my mind
And I know one last time isn’t tonight.
Rendered powerless, I surrender
To you.
I can’t help but laugh when I
Catch a small glimpse of myself in
The yellow light of the hospital toilets.
All the colour drained from my skin
except the black stains left from the
miraculous charcoal.
Fuck you!
Fuck you in all your wonder
Fuck you for giving a fuck
This is the hardest pill I could ever swallow
Fuck you for making me live.
this is a great poem, i felt the intense emotion, and i can understand it very well
Out of your poems, this one shows your essence the best or so I think. It has depths to your character and ability to write emotinally while getting your points across. It's also interesting how no one ever knows if they persona is you or someone else. Great write. Stroke of genius.