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I have never been a coward ever in my life
So why was I scared, why didnt I fight?
Why is this not the first time?

A man touched me today,
In ways he shouldn't have.
Too scared to fight back,
Not sure what to do.

I pushed away from you,
But you held on to me,
You touched me,
But my fear over powered my anger.

You weight a lot more,
Your taller too, I thought I could have
Trusted you. You knew my family,
Though I didn't know you.
You talked about my grandmother,
You where close to her, in ways
I haven't been in the last few months.
She became more angery, more distant
From us, but we thought it was just old age.
we didn't see the dementia showing its days.

But the sad thing is,
your not the first man to touch me,
In ways that make me twitch, and cringe,
In ways that make me wish my flesh was singed.

My dad had touched me,
And my cousins step brother did too,
I was 11-13 when they did so.
I didnt understand what they where doing back then,
I didn't know it was wrong, till it was to late.
Humiliated me, touching my skin,
Letting the sick torment of the molestation begin.
Holding me down and threating me,
Making sure I wouldn't tell anyone again.
Fear inside me grew more and more,
Even when I say I'm not scared,
Deep down, I still am, I'm terrified of
Another man, doing that, un wanted shit.

But when ever I used to run away,
Try to escape, I couldn't break free.
They would chase after me, grab hold of me,
And hit me, scream at me, fill me with fear.
Wishing I could disappear.

Nobody knew,
Nobody to save me,
I couldnt escape,
When they out weighted me.

This Man was different,
He didn't scare me at first,
He seemed like a good guy,
He helped my grandmother a lot,
And he stood by her side.

He didn't abuse me,
He didn't make me cry,
He didn't scream or tell me lies.

I thought he was a safe guy,
I was wrong, now I know,
Never to trust anyone,
Any man, that I don't know.

I can't believe it.