I'll never let another man hurt me, how my daddy did.

I will never let another man, hurt me how you did.
Because of you, I find it hard to trust again.

You are a man, that's supposed to care and love me,
With all of your heart, a man who's supposed to support me from the start,
A man who's supposed to help me cope, a man who's is supposed to treat me right,
No matter how angery he gets that night.

All iv ever know you to be, is what your not supposed to be.
You have never loved me, you have never accepted me,
You have never cared about me,you have never tried to save me,
You have never helped me cope, you have never treated me right,
You have never kept me alive, or made me enjoy life.

You have never tucked me in to bed,
You have never checked for monsters,
To make the bad dreams end. You have never
Came to me, when I fell and scrapped my knee,
You have Never taught me a thing, that was worth remembering.

You have never played a game with me,
Or taught me how to read, you never
Practiced for the spelling bee, you never
Made me dinner, and you never ate with me,
You never talked to me, or even listened to a thing.

You never knew my favorite color, you never
Knew my friends, you never knew my birthday,
Even when I'm your kid. You never bought me a gift,
Or even signed your own name into the card,
You never knew I hated you.

You never knew I used To cry out to you,
Only when I was small,I tried to love you.
I tried to get your attention, and your affection,
Anyway I could. Cause I wanted you, my daddy,
To love me, like I tried to love you. I want wanted my daddy,
To try to love me, to try and understand me,
To try and listen to me, to try and be, a daddy to me.

But quickly, I learned,
Time after time, after
I got hurt,one to many times, that you,
Where never going to change, that you would never want to know me,
Or remember my birthday. I was your little mistake, your little stupied game,
I was something you wished you could have thrown away.
I took your life away, when i was born, you shouldn't have became a parent,
Cause you weren't ready, when I was born.

Now I'll never know my daddy, and I'll never love you,
Cause my heart is frozen towards you. You hurt me,
You beat me, you screamed at me, you treated me like,
I was nobody. But a erased memory. My heart doesn't love you,
And that's ok, cause at least,I don't have to feel the pain,
Of daddy hating me for the rest of my days.

I'll never let another man, hurt me how you did.
I'll never trust you, but I'll do my best to trust again.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

About my dad.

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thisisme789's picture

=( That's sad. I'm sorry hon!

=( That's sad. I'm sorry hon! I'm so glad that you're getting stronger. You are stronger than your father could have ever thought that you'd get, and because of his lack of being able to parent anyone, you were able to grow stronger as a person. You have become a beautiful, sweet, loving, caring, lovable, amazing young woman. You are incredible, and have not let your father make you into someone that you are not. I am so proud of you! I love you!


<3

MatthewWayne's picture

Amazing

Beautifully Tragic, at least with writting you are able to channel those feelings, those emotions into a beautiful work of art. Nobody, No child should have to endure the suffering you went through, though if just saying it actually did anything to help the situation then nobody would have a crappy childhood. Honestly Elfy, you are truly talented with your writting. You are able to reach out to your readers and connect to them emotionally a truly rare gift anymore in today's society.


"I am my own sort of strange, a supernova of madness and brillance. Forced to share the same space and time. Sane enough to not be seen, yet not crazy enough to be heard." -- Matthew Wayne

Elfy's picture

Poems are like diary entrys

Poems are like diary entrys for me. Lol I never could write in a diary every night, Idk why. Lol so poems get that emotion, expression, feelings out from the day. What I'm thinking or worrying about, and fill the paper or screen with me. It helps me cope,and deal with things in my life, if only to allow myself a moment of clarity or a moment of peace from the noise and anger around me lol.
I agree no child should ever go threw what I have or anything similar. It's very wrong, and children are ment to be loved, protected, cared for with every dying breath of the parent. The parent should treat their child like a gift, cause they are so prechious, so beautiful, so special. Thank you for your sweet words Damien, but I don't often relate to my readers, only my tragic poems and such as you call them lol get the relation.others don't seem to get the same feelings. I write for myself to express my feelings.to let my anger an hate out, to let my love flow. To let myself out for others to see. To try and help others if they go through the same thing, to ease them. Lol thank you as always. I love your comments.


-Elfy*

twisted_soul's picture

Humble words. Lol XD

Humble words. Lol XD

Elfy's picture

SHUT UP JOHN XD GRRRR! IM NOT

SHUT UP JOHN XD GRRRR! IM NOT HUMBLE!


-Elfy*

twisted_soul's picture

ROFL XD XD XD

ROFL XD XD XD

Elfy's picture

Growl. >> keep it up you XD

Growl. >> keep it up you XD lol ill get you back.


-Elfy*

twisted_soul's picture

Bring it

Bring it

twisted_soul's picture

Well I've told u he is a

Well I've told u he is a disspicable excuse of a father. He should be hurt just as much as u did. And I know I've said this too, but he insults me a future father. Love it, it spoke right to my heart

Elfy's picture

I know. But I don't wish

I know. But I don't wish anything bad upon my father. For karmas a bitch and he will get what's coming back to him. What he did will come back ten fold. He will feel my pain. God punishs people for what they have done, and my dad will get his dues. Plus I don't believe in hurting him, or people, so I won't wish bad things for him. Cause he already did it for himself. No cause my dad, isn't my father. Another man holds that title, and has for as long as I can remember. Do not be insulted, cause you aren't like my dad. Thank you, glad you did.


-Elfy*

SSmoothie's picture

You are amazing girl!

God bless you hugs! SS that is an inspiring answer!


Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS    

"Well, it's love, but not as we know it."

Elfy's picture

Hugs and thank you. Lol

Hugs and thank you. Lol


-Elfy*

twisted_soul's picture

Well I ment he has wat I

Well I ment he has wat I want, I know I said this too. He should have nit thought of sex because he is not fit to be a father, or even a dad. He just is one of few people who stir my blood one of the few I might hurt if pushed to far

Elfy's picture

Well if he didn't think of

Well if he didn't think of sex, I wouldn't be here talking to you hon XD
He isn't fit to be one, but it happened for a reason, as everything does. Your not the only one I'm sure lol. But honestly he is not worth hurting, cause then you would be like him.using your anger for bad. Not worth it, your better then he is.


-Elfy*

twisted_soul's picture

I know just he boils my

I know just he boils my blood. And I know u wouldn't be here, I just wish he treated u better or even realize his god damn mistakes and have a revaluation and start treating u better or atleast he could try. He doesn't try that's why I don't like him

Elfy's picture

I know hon. It's alright.

I know hon. It's alright. Things happen for a reason. And I don't regret what happened to me. It happened for a reason, I'm here today, that's what matters. God did it for a reason, we may not understand it, but he had a reason. He made me stronger. :) for that I'm gratefull. I'm not happy with what happened, nor am I happy with my dad, but he won't change, he won't get better, so I move on, im not wasting my time on him. He truely believes he did nothing wrong. He doesn't think he needs to try, and nobody likes him.


-Elfy*

twisted_soul's picture

The only good thing he gave

The only good thing he gave is u, and ur personality. What makes it better is ur humbleness

Elfy's picture

Lol what about my brother? xD

Lol what about my brother? xD he's a good kid too. And I'm not humble I'm just not a self pity party lol


-Elfy*

twisted_soul's picture

Well I don't know him. I'll

Well I don't know him. I'll make judgements when I meet him.

cassyjerrett's picture

Everything you wrote is what

Everything you wrote is what happened to me! thank you for sharing it. it hits close to home. i am also struggling to find a way to trust again as well.

Elfy's picture

I'm sorry you had to go threw

I'm sorry you had to go threw that. And there's a lot more to that story then what's just posted. But it's not a problem, it doesn't bother me to share whats happened. Well we both will get through this, one step at a time, one more mile. :) we can do it. If you need somebody to talk to, I'm here, just give me a shout out lol. Thanks for the comment btw feel free to check out others if not to busy.


-Elfy*