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Breathing Love
Standing beneath me lies the vast expanse of frigid waters.
But I fear not the icy depths.
For even if I should plunge in, the warmth that radiates from within would save me.
The fire instilled there, that lives within my heart and soul because of life and love.
Pulsing rays of light and heat.
I bask in them.
Rescuers.
Saviors.
Guardians.
Protectors.
Behind me remains the man who inside reveals to me the locket of his heart.
He offered.
I refused.
He offered.
I'm still not ready.
His infinite patience and understanding.
Awe-stricken.
I want it now. I want him now.
Without query or hesitation he handed me the key and thus the mirror.
I looked within his being and found the part of me that was missing.
I see clearly now.
I am complete now.
I am free now.
I am overwhelmed by this compounded sensation.
And all I know to say is. . .
How did I ever live without this?
I was suffocating without it.
So now and forever give me this being, this breath, this promise, this kiss.
So this is bliss.
Welcome.
This is my first day on Post
This is my first day on Post Poems so I'm not really sure if this kind of critique is acceptable, but I'd like to say that I wouldn't offer this if I wasn't impressed with something, in this case wonderful phraseology and poetic sincerity. Yes, it's certainly a poem replete with beautiful, love sodden phrases written with a strident poetic voice. It held my interest enough for a few re-reads but then I began to feel suffocated toward the end, perhaps because my experience is so different, and therein lies the rub - if it doesn't 'chime' with me, I wonder how many others read it and are left with a feeling resembling disbelief, are relationships really like this? - Can you really find missing bits of you in someone else? I know it's possible to say so poetically but I'd like to know how that's realised! What is it that you can see clearly now that you couldn't before and how come? In what way are you free now that you weren't before? I hope you realise that these comments are meant to be constructive and apologies if I've broken any rules or your heart!
It's How You Feel
Putting my work out there makes it open to whatever response/critique may come. That being said, I wrote this when I was very, very young and was in the euphoria of being "in love". Even I read it now and think, "oh...this is so sappy and immature." But that's because I was immature. On the other hand, it really resonates with some people. So it's out there...has been out there for over 10 years to let people take from it what they will. I'm not offended...certainly not heartbroken. So welcome to Post Poems; I look forward to reading some of your works, too.
I can really relate. I
I can really relate. I always felt complete until I was loved completely. Then I was complete.
LOVELY PIECE
Beautiful poem.
Kyla:
Beautifully written with so much beauty,love and visonary skills within. You definitely have beautiful poetic skills Kyla-please never never stop writing. Please take care and have a very beautiful and safe week.
Regards,
Dave Richardson
2/03/2004
i love your style... this is beautiful. i've felt that hesitation and fear before, it's an incredible feeling when giving in is so rewarding...