this person i've become,
it isn't who i want to be,
or who i planned to be.
somewhere along the way
something went terribly wrong.
whether it was something said or done,
it changed everything.
I don't know what it is,
i wish i did.
It might make things easer,
because then maybe i could change it.
But as it is now, i'm just tired,
i can't be happy.
only thoughts of fear, anger, and hurt run through my head.
i don't want to hurt all of them,
but i find myself pushing them away,
even as i need them most,
before i realize what i'm doing,
and i wind up by myself again,
wishing i wasn't alone,
but what is the point of wishing?
it only makes it all worse,
dreaming of things i can't have,
why am i being tortured like this?
Why God?!
Is it to bring me closer to you?
I know i haven't been as close to you as i should,
Only turning to you in misery....
But why this?!
Why do i feel like i'm losing everyone i love?
Why AM i losing everyone i love?
Please, just make it all go away,
All the tears and pain.
i know you can,
Help me.....please.
Wow, I know how you are feeling. I've been there and my friend is there right now too. I was like you unhappy depressed until I figured out what God really wanted for my life instead my wanting what I want to do for my life. You will figure it out, it might take time but have hope. I'll be praying for you. HUGS. -Moriah