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this person i've become,

it isn't who i want to be,

or who i planned to be.

somewhere along the way

something went terribly wrong.

whether it was something said or done,

it changed everything.

I don't know what it is,

i wish i did.

It might make things easer,

because then maybe i could change it.

But as it is now, i'm just tired,

i can't be happy.

only thoughts of fear, anger, and hurt run through my head.

i don't want to hurt all of them,

but i find myself pushing them away,

even as i need them most,

before i realize what i'm doing,

and i wind up by myself again,

wishing i wasn't alone,

but what is the point of wishing?

it only makes it all worse,

dreaming of things i can't have,

why am i being tortured like this?

Why God?!

Is it to bring me closer to you?

I know i haven't been as close to you as i should,

Only turning to you in misery....

But why this?!

Why do i feel like i'm losing everyone i love?

Why AM i losing everyone i love?

Please, just make it all go away,

All the tears and pain.

i know you can,

Help me.....please.