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Eyes Wide
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2020 Gad Zooks Eyes wide like the child
Sipping sweet experience,
Sparkling stars in disarray,
The twilight starts to gather,
End to end,
So they begin,
To greet the moon,
Each day.
or
Sparkilng stars in disarray 7
The twilights start to gather 7
end to end to greet the moon 7
And so they begin each day. 6
or as a tanka
Eyes wide like the child
Sipping sweet experience,
Sparkling stars shim,
And twilights start to gather,
End to end, so they begin,
Greeting of the moon each day
Each version has an elegant
Each version has an elegant voice and a luminous eye. I love the line "sipping sweet experience" and the phrase "stars in disarray" so I'd be partial to any combination including these, but however you decide to mix it, it will be magical.
Thank you
I do like sipping sweet experiences and stars in disarray. The first is my favorite. But fun experimenting. Thank you for reading and commenting.
The Winder
completes it ~S~
Highly evocative. Is it a
Highly evocative. Is it a part of a larger poem?
Starward
Just a short verse
Came out of my art journal I started drawing a night sky and the poem came to me. no reason to not keep going But I think this is best just a snapshot. Thank you for stopping by