Ship Wreck

She had me open,

I wish I was still smoking,

Because maybe when the smoke clears,

Youll be everything that I thought you were,

I had dreams of us slow dancing,

In a long romance, 

Us being the only ones for each other but i had no chance,

You came back different,

The facade washed away,

You couldnt fake the love for me anymore,

I seen it all on your face,

It still hurts,

I look you in the eyes and I still see us,

But I know the truth,

My paranoia reminds me of the real you,

You could set me up, you could do damage,

And from the woman I once loved I cant handle it,

I want something different now,

Its been a long road,

But I know this love was never the same for you so its time to move on,

I hope you find that one that you dream of marrying,

Just like me, googling wedding rings,

I hope she doesnt smash your dreams like you did mine,

I hope she doesnt make you realize real love is hard to find,

I hope she doesnt make you regret never loving me.. 

Im lying,

Thats what Im hoping in time youll see,

In time one day youll miss me,

Years from now in a relationship full of illusion,

You find out her true intentions for you,

And then you remember how you treated me,

How I sat around, holding you down when you were out at sea,

How I rushed out to see you everytime you needed me,

How I believed in love and how you crushed my dreams,

Youll hit me up, and youll be hoping I still give a fuck,

I probably wont, but the nuturer in me wont be so blunt,

Ill converse and we'll have small talk, 

We might even send pictures if youre still charmed,

I say all this to say, after everything you put me through I dont know why I stayed,

Maybe it was really love or just my compulsive ways,

Either way, i wish you the best,

Please dont be hurt by this,

I needed to get it off my chest,

I hope you stay healthy and abreast,

I wouldnt want you letting your gaurd down and fall n love, get fucked over and become a wreck... 

Like me.