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Drowning
Today I learned how to drown
One breath at a time
Been wading through water for some
Time now, my mind's logged
At first it comes in waves, like
I'm playing jump rope on my chest
When you first go under there's a
Feeling of relief
You think I can weather this I
Can hold my breath for a while
Until you take that first breath
And your lungs fill
Now you panic, asking yourself if
You're okay, you lie yes
Somewhere between the second and
Third breath comes acceptance
This is how you are now, unstable,
Kicking for solid ground
People pass by, a few ask if you're alright,
You tell them you're fine
Because you don't know how to express
You're drowning standing next to them
First
of all, love the poem. It relates the feeling quite well. My panic attacks started when I was about 18, I am now 63 and still are prone to them. As far as breathing goes, I found the more you focus on the breathing itself the worse it gets, you have to relax the best you can and try to let the breathing stabilize, but it won't so long as you are focusing on it. Yes it sucks. I used to hyperventilate continuously ...Anti-depressants and Xanax helped along with a beta blocker that slowed my heart rate and breathing. It does mimic many symptoms, like a heart attack. It's a cycle of fear, adrenaline, fear. The more panicky you get the more adrenaline is released, which creates more panic. I still have places and things that are triggers. Like shopping, driving, elevators, etc. One thing that helped me was a book by Claire Weeks called Hope and Help for the Nerves. It's an old book, but so am I...lol, but it helped me because it reassured me that there was not anything physically wrong, that it was indeed a panic attack. But I did go to the Drs a lot trying to find answers for my symptoms, which kept coming back, nothing wrong. So after a while I had to accept that it was panic, depression and anxiety. I think once you accept that they are just symptoms and don't let them trick you into thinking your dying it helps get it under control quicker.
Best of luck to you, Lynn
P.S. I recently discoverd something called EFT or tapping. I'ts based on accupressure meridians. It seems goofy, but there is scientific basis for it and when I've done it during a panic attack it has helped me immensely, and I've had much fewer.
It's hard. I'm in a cycle of
It's hard. I'm in a cycle of feeling powerless, panicking, and being depressed so strongly that I can't stand being alone but I'm too fucked up to express or communicate when I'm around others and then just want to be alone again. I think I'm broken. I spend my nights thinking how to kill myself and then wake up in the morning disgusted with myself. Thank you for your advice, I'm so fucking confused and lost I don't know what happened but now every day is a struggle.
Long days and pleasant nights
Diamond
Diamond...
I've suffered these same kinds of thoughts.
They come and go. Recently though,
someone reminded me to just stay focused
in the now, this present moment.
Really look and connect with the surroundings.
(Needs practice and a lot of it)
Being in nature locations helps a lot.
The breath helps me get out of my head. (A little)
I hope that you find a way to get through
to a more peaceful way. I know the struggle is real.
Battle on!!
Copyright © JessterStarshine
I appreciate your words here
I appreciate your words here Tallula. I too use the breath do deal with panic. I think I'm just coming to understand it as panic. reading y'all helps me to understand more. Thank you so much for sharing
Copyright © JessterStarshine
That about covers it
The trick is to try counting breaths. Focusing on something that feels safe. They get worse over time, until you realize it's all in your head.
"Music is a universal language and needs not be translated. With it, soul speaks to soul" - Songsterr
This Reminds Me Of
uCHILDBIRTH. Talk about anxiety attack - you want out, you regret introducing sperm to egg. Anxiety attacks is a major worrying syndrome to the tenth power; what I imagine PTSD to be like for veterans and trauma victims. Sorry for your attacks, may they diminish with bio-feedback like breath exercises. LaMaze techniques might help. By the book, got me through childbirth and a lot since, especially the candle breathing. - slc
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