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My Eternal Mend
Folder:
2022 I think I'm just too stubborn
to let the bags loose
even if occupying my limited storage space
lags boost
Yes, the memories are faded.
Some smiles yesteryear became banned yesterday.
Blocked.
yet immovable objects may be closer than they appear
while I body a Giver's weight
still standing outside your barricades
but my past actions lack a heightened wisdom for you
seemingly withheld from my head and my heart
A wisdom to not hurt you anymore
above all my personal proclivities
the reason I now stay silent
and diligently freeze
something once unyielding
I end contact
and willingly endure the harshest breeze
I'm still working out every last internal bug
every glitch
imposter
jester
and lapses exist among us all
but
I itch to withhold a fair standard
a modifiable golden rule to perfectly abide
when honorable voices of reason say
I wish I would have found a way to
not rip at rooted rawhide
for a main squeeze
Because honorable men shouldn't hide
their beloved truths
and honorable men shouldn't sip the juice
from those dutifully-muted,
deliciously-sordid fruits
but I did.
and goddamnit
I'd do it again.
Cuz what a flawed, yet
beautifully-imperfect humanity needs to hope
vividly
with an open courage
as natural as
a clean fiber or
sincere eye contact
is belief
and speaking without hyperbole
I knew.
I believed in nothing about him anymore
and everything about you
the absolute highlight of my day
like bioluminescence run amok
I would invite your light
like kerosene to a paper ring
because you would see some of the best things
I couldn't find
I can't find
within my core
your warmth was felt with every moment
every smile
and satiated every one of my life's arid pores
Simply
succinctly
I yearned for a forbidden more
but not because it was forbidden
because it was yours
I apologize for any pain, confusion, mistrust
and accept irreparable sentencing
and how fate descends
but for every sublime means
you were each and every heartened end
and for every immortal ail
you were my eternal mend
That's some heavy baggage I
That's some heavy baggage
I resonated with some of the emotions and the descriptions.
The pain is clear but hazy and confused
Moments of clarity and darkness
I was there with you I felt
Punching my way out of a black garbage bag
Only I couldn't get through because
Some how if the bag broke id be free
And that to me just felt so lonely!
Great write deep blue
Hugss
Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS
"Well, it's love, but not as we know it."
A humble thank you for
A humble thank you for reading and resonating :)
I admit that I'm not an old man, I'm 36. But there is some weight I hold that makes me feel 90 at times. I wish the situation with her ended better, so there's pain there.
But there's also a lot of really beautiful memories there as well. There's a lot of exhilarating thoughts and emotions I can use to fuel new spirit today if I figure out how to convert that energy into something more renewable.
All in due time, perhaps? But again thanks again for reading. Take care :)
Poetry that carries some
Poetry that carries some thematic and emotional connection to many of the best works of the music band Staind, and also some shades of U2's With or Without you. Yet, it feels so deeply personal that it is owned by you and your muse, alone, and likewise there are some expressions here that seem to be undeniably and deeply all your own: "Yes, the memories are faded.
Some smiles yesteryear became banned yesterday."
Those two lines, being my favorite.
Very valid point :) I do try
Very valid point :) I do try to make a concerted effort to create writing that's fairly relatable to a lot of people, kinda universal themes that you can apply to your own life. But you're right, I definitely have a couple very personal, specific memories in mind which is fueling the narrative. Emotion is unavoidably polarizing (and thus flawed at times) but also so necessary to have critical moments that go by become memorable and valuable to you.
So I focus on a balance between the two forces; The emotive versus the relatable. Great comment tho, really got my brain turning :) take care