Poisoning The Disney Princesses

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I smacked Cinderella in the head,

with her slipper made of glass.

Don't worry I'm sure it didn't hurt,

for she was drunk off of her ass.

I shoved her in a darkened closet,

where no one else would see.

And went off looking for her Prince,

to see how he was at Charming me.

Oh but all he thought of was the shoe,

Which somehow I had managed to drop.

Talking about he needed the perfect foot,

and I couldn't make him stop.

So I tried on her glass slipper,

but alas I had too big of a foot.

So I took Cinderella home,her gown changed

to a maid's covered with grime and soot.

Then I moved on to one named Aurora,

or as you know her the Sleeping Beauty.

Take my word for it she wasn't very nice,

and at times she was downright snooty.
But alas the spinning wheel was there,

and I was the wicked witch.

But in my defense her mother cursed my beauty,

and changed the story so I was the wicked bitch.

So sadly I danced my way to Snow White,

her innocent face and looks so fair.

Tricked into thinking I could have her prince,

by the wicked fairy who sent me there.

Alas I thought I had killed her,

so I became afraid and ran away.

But then the dwarves picked her up,

saying she was alive and danced around to play.

By this time I was surely afraid,

of what princess I would find next,

and then I stumbled upon Princess Jasmine,

Aladdin's girl who was personified Sex.

I made him out to be a bad guy,

so that she would get angry and turn away.

But he slipped through my defenses,

and won her back before the end of the day.

I had other Options like Mulan,

and even the Beast and his Beautiful Belle,

but I wasn't one too keen on fighting,

Nor kissing the creature who looked like hell.

So I moved on to The Littlest Mermaid,

the red-haired maiden named Ariel.

I helped Ursula cast her spell,

Taking away her speech which was just as well.

But it was a failed attempt before it began,

Because Ariel was sweet and pure, you see.

And the Prince couldn't bear to be in the presence

of someone as twisted and corrupted as me.

By the time I reached Pochantas, I didn't want to try,

her beauty and intellect I couldn't compete with, I wanted to die.

I guess I'd never find my prince,

no matter how much I would try and try.

With the new Princesses, Rapunzel and Tiana,

well.... i wasn't going to kiss a frog.

So I left the Magical Princess kingdom,

feeling lower than a flee ridden dog.

Only in the real world, did I find my prince

who showered me with love and kisses.

Making me realize I didn't need to go out,

and Poison the Disney Princesses.

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Jesster's picture

Funny! 

Funny! 


Copyright © JessterStarshine

DazedByLife's picture

I laughed while writing it!

I laughed while writing it!

nightlight1220's picture

...we got on his Harley and

...we got on his Harley and rode away on that hogg.


...and he asked her, "do you write poetry? Because I feel as if I am the ink that flows from your quill."

"No", she replied, "but I have experienced it. "

 

DazedByLife's picture

But decided it be better to

But decided it be better to walk,

Than fill the air with its smog :D

nightlight1220's picture

lol...yea!!!

lol...yea!!!


...and he asked her, "do you write poetry? Because I feel as if I am the ink that flows from your quill."

"No", she replied, "but I have experienced it. "