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fear.

fear of the dark, of your own fucking mind.

even in the light, with my window looking out at blackness.

i feel scared.

and to close the blinds would do no good.

for do not have an imagination?

just think of what i could put behind said blinds.

i sit here, listening to music, reading a book.

freaked out of my fucking mind.

not wanting to close my eyes, not wanting to look the window.

6:00 am, waiting for light, for some small comfort, untill sunset.

combined with the sensation of my head being ripped apart by exaggerated emotions,

i want my fucking pills back.

unbridled fear, like a living thing in your body, nothing is good.

nothing is comforting. nothing makes you feel better.

not even with movies that terribly scary.

same with books.

just for some reason, fear overtakes me.

makes me its slave.

i feel fucking insane.

i want to bash my head into the wall, feel the pain.

i want to rip my brain out, in hopes of feeling better.

have you ever felt like this?