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I feel like I am stuck in the middle
Like I am suck between now
And what could have been

If only, if only
What might have been?
What never was?

I know I don’t want to go back
Because I know who I was
And that’s not who I want to be

But if I could keep him
And drop all that I used to do
I would like that the most

But I can’t go back in time
No matter how much I wish it
So I can’t waste time on wishes

But I can change the future
But how do I do that?
Maybe, I’ll never know

All this plagues me every night
Makes it so I cant sleep
But maybe that is just because

I want him to be near me
And hold me as I sleep
Oh, back to wishing

~Chrystal
Written on
October 1, 2011

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This was another written to Tom ___. This is jusy a short list of my wants and wishes. I know I cannot change the past, only the future but that does not keep me from wanting or wishing.

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©2 October 2011 - 1:08am — crimsonangel24
21 October 2011 - 3:27pm — Vixen
Vixen's picture

Hi Chrystal... I know the

Hi Chrystal... I know the feeling :) We all have our own way of coping when something upsets us,-- and wishing and losing sleeps are your initial reactions to facing an issue. I know it's easier said than done girl, but one day when this problem is behind you, you won't remember these feelings anymore...

The future is unthinkable without him for now, but whether it is with Tom or without, there is always a future waiting for each of us. This poem, is a good start of being self-aware. Live one day at a time, live each pain one day at a time, live all cares and happiness one day at a time, shed your worries one day at a time, and then one day you'll wake up and realize, you are living your future :)

Nicely penned...

Shye

“ Let the beauty of what you love be what you do."
                                                   ~ Rumi