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To Reconcile The Capsized.
harsh words on playback within my head
like the pattern of a broken record, over and over again,
actions and regret, what happened and how far it went,
the look on your face, matched by the voice of your threats,
definite and firm, desperate enough to strike a chord
with how serious you were, and indeed i heard,
the pain of the hurt i caused you to suffer,
i have wrestled back and forth with the why's and what if's,
without an answer, to credit this outcome of disaster, or explain what's supposed to happen, after the air is cleared, if even, there's a shred of hope left to recapture,
all that was good while it lasted.
In hindsight, it is always amazing to me just what people can say and do to bring pain without real intention. Such temporary hatefulness usually fed by raw emotion unfortunately can never be taken back.... heaven knows if it could i'd have a storage building full of regrets and retractions....
It hurts to feel your sadness...