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Wilting Blossoms. (hopelessly romantic sic boy, seeks out a divine deity, to beat him with a stick, as not even she, could live up to this, i mean, somebody shoot me, this dream is turning,
my mind is glowing, and passion is burning me out of house and eternal soul home, it's just a poem, without salvation....:-)
just a smooth brush with an eloquence
just beyond my reach,
the beauty and fantasy of frail attraction
the tremor of hands collapsing,
my heart falls deeply, heavy
your design, of heavenly allure, enraptures...me
i can't slip any further,
i can hardly come to grips
with all that you mean, without ever alleging,
i wish i knew, of secrets of you,
i want so much to say, in a warm embrace,
the things i knew, were true, of love,
and all that is after,
closely i watch the dreams streaming from your hair,
like flowers that were stars, now fallen like the pollen on the breeze,
you're something to wish upon,
my god, your so free,
i couldn't possibly..., yet maybe...,
i want to crawl inside of the places you've been,
see just how you linger, in the hearts of men,
mental pictures take away,
they speak not for their thousand words,
they leave the promise of you so empty, so blue,
your smile is everything to the deeper happiness of your being,
i can only touch you, like this, for you never seem to notice,
me, sidelined and staring,
me, hopeful and caring,
me, star struck and leveled,
me, nervous and worried.
i'm a poet,
you inspire me.......,
and i love you for it.
This is truly beautiful. Well written and perfectly executed. You are a refreshing writer to read. Thanks for sharing. I truly enjoyed the read.
You're such an amazing author! Thank oyu for writing such a beautiful piece...and for sharing it!
ohhhh, that's very nice,,,
I agree that this is definitly a poem to be spoken aloud put to music
"i want so much to say, in a warm embrace,
"the things i knew, were true, of love,"
Nice
"closely i watch the dreams streaming from your hair,
"like flowers that were stars, now fallen like the pollen
"on the breeze,
I'd be repeating things said already but this is great...
even the long sentences that come out of nowhere work (the structure thing someone mentioned?)
Thanks
Debbie
Absolutely enticing! You have a unique style. A technique that I suggest you continue with. Lengthen your poem. It is a wonderful thing to leave the reader wanting more!!! As a publisher, this is one of the things that I look for in a writer. Keep up the good work!
Beautifully written! Your poem engulfs my attention, encaptures my emotions and envelopes my desire for more! Very visual style. Consider having this published.
i thought this poem was sad and touching.i know what it is to sing an empty love song. i know how it feels to be unnoticed by the one you treasure the most. thanks for sharing. it's like your're expressing my thoughts in your poem but more beautifully said
Very interesting... never seen someone protray this feeling of inspiring beauty and lust like you have. Most would just state their feelings... but you've created the perfect picture for it.
Good job... and come critique some of my poems if you'd like. It'd be greatly appreciated.
...
I'm not amazed or anything (not to say the poem wasn't amazing), but I feel like I'm in a warm familiar spot. This poem is definately like the sun on my face in the summer or how I feel when I'm engulfed in ocean waves. It's like every word wrapped itself around my heart when I read it and just made itself at home. I've got to say this is probably my favorite poem I ever read, and if I could fall in love with a poem, this would be the one.
Thanks for that.
Jules
Good day
I have been reading your work, and I feel it fits into our themes!
I read hundreds of poems every month and as an amateur poet,
your style intrigued me to such an extent, that I would love to add
it to our small (± 154 poets) group of friends' website!
I would be honoured to have you aboard!
Please consider joining us!
All you have to do is to reply to this e-mail (dviljoen@tiscali.co.za) , and give your consent!
p.s. The links to the sites can be found below
This was different than what I'm used to, but it was good too! Cool poem, I like the way it ended. PEACE!
WOW! is all I can say. This is the most beautiful poem I've ever read!!! I read a lot of poetry, and this is one of the best! It has a lot of feelings in it, and it just flows together so well! If you keep writing poetry like this, well, I'm sure you are going to have a very big pile of fans, me included.
Ah, my dear, it's very rare a random poem is of any worth, and this one was one of those few. Though some of the structure was faulty, it was still full of power and very well written. Nicely done.
Well I must say you had me with the first line and each that followed. I felt like I could almost hear you speaking. I would love to hear this one aloud and in person. It is not often that I am completely breathless after reading a poem. This was excellant work. Your flow was exceptional, word choices as well. You are a very talented poet. Keep scribin'- your work touches many I am sure- I hope this person knows this is for them- I certainly would want to know. great work!!! Much Love and Respect- J
Right on man, I dig this a lot. The slant rhyming and punctuation hints towards a spoken piece. I like the allusions you have too, like the pictures not speaking for their thousand words; and how you cant slip any further, yet you cant come to grips. You definitely earned my respect with this piece. You should check out some of my stuff, i think we have similar writing styles. Keep it up
~ Tim
Uh? Hmmmmmmmm. This poem is good. Interesting and fool of description. Is that how u say it? HAhahahahaha. Just kidding. U r good, very good. Congratulations. Hahahahaha. U did a good job. U r amazing.
Have a nice and beautiful life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~My Best Wishes~
:D
this gets a kudos. not very often a daily random poem holds up to good standards but its nice for the change. thanks man for whatever inspired this work, cause it made my day just that much better.
- sincerely, some lame kid, mike
This is just beautiful. Reminds me of somebody.:P Your expression is DAMN!!!! I'm without words to describe it. Great piece, really nice.
Got this in my email....it's (simply put) beautiful! You write very well, keep 'em coming.
i really liked this poem. it attracts me to the "speaker" so to speak. i feel the intensity of the passion between the two. great job on the imagry, it is very hard to accomplish with such a subject. i will read the rest of your poetry. thank you.
Wow this is freaking amazing. it makes me feel giddy for some reason. its like a drug that makes you feel out there and unreasonably happy. thank you for this poem. Its Great!
holli wiedrick
Christopher, awesome poem! Nice to read something in the "daily random poem" mailing that is powerful for a change. I felt every word of it.
Such passion! Most will never experience, many can only hope to experience, and few will ever know.
Ahhhh divine utterances.
Your poem speaks volume and it's all good. Wonderful flow of admiration from well-chosen words. Nicely-done and well-said.
Sandie Angel :o)
I must say that you have a very firm handle on the language of illusion. For a moment I was caught up in the surreal experience of being totally bonkers in love. lol As a teacher I think I'd have to give you an "A" for creativity on this one. Good job.
Jessica
I love this poem. It's simply brilliant.
I truly loved this! I wish I could be the inspiration for a piece such as this! Keep Flowin'!
beautiful poem!
That was very clever enjoyed thankyou sincely trees xxx
Wow this is good. Something worthy of reading in the daily poems email dealy. Lots of emotion and feeling.. its superb.