How i feel (suicide)

Fires ablaze within my eyes,
A smile concealing all my lies,
Screaming, begging, calling out,
A final, frantic, desperate, shout.

Scarlet tears drip from each vein,
A vehement covet to end this pain,
This silver blade, stays by my side,
Because all hope inside has died.

As each day ends, and darkness draws,
The devil toys, with all my flaws,
I'm helpless, alone, a worthless mess,
A broken child, he must address.

I'm tempted when he calls my name,
A way out, an escape, an end to shame,
To make it feel a lot less real,
A deal with the Devil, in blood must I seal.

They'll say I died of suicide,
But no one knows how much they've lied,
It wasn't a rope, a blade, or pills,
That broke my soul, and gave me chills.

I died inside so long before,
To live each day, an endless chore,
Pills could not kill what was already dead,
A twisted soul, an empty head.

In darkness I wait, in silence, alone,
Rose-tinted nostalgia, all around me has grown,
I beckon the devil, with the key of self-harm,
And I open the door for him, with the blood of my arms

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Sorry for being gone for a while guys. I have been in the hospital for attempting suicide.. Please don't judge me guys.. it's just, really hard...

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SSmoothie's picture

Write it out more often dear,

Write it out more often dear, not only is your great pain the source of great work, it just might be the source for healing... So many young go through this you will get through too over time, praying for you and your peace of mind. Tight hugss


Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS    

"Well, it's love, but not as we know it."

hurtandlost's picture

hope all is going well chase!

hope all is going well chase! this is a beautifully written poem.