Killing of a Smile

Folder: 
lgbt related

Time stands still as she waits. She hears a voice calling her.

She fears the worst, and has no clue what to do.

"Hello," she screams into the blank abyss.

"I am lost and in need of a friend!"

With no idea what to do, she wanders about,

wondering if any of this is real,

or if any of it is worth it.

She sees people, happy as can be.

"HELP," she cies out,

but nobody hears her. They see her,

push her, taunt her.

"Come into the light," they'd say.

"We will help you out." They reached out their hands as if to summon her up,

but move away when she tries to grab hold and get to safety.

She feels trapped, and wants out of the abyss.

What abyss? The abyss that is the darkening of her mind,

the abyss that is the crippling loneliness she faces.

Nobody sees her for who she truly is.

She sees all,

Accepts all,

Such is the way of life.

For nobody sees her for the man he was meant to be.

One pill down,then another.

Twenty gone, but (s)he is still living.

(S)He cries.

One noose tied.

when down the hall comes the one who caused all the judgement.

Under the pillows goes the rope.

Book in hand,

Nobody is the wiser.

Attempt after attempt,

Each making him feel more of a failure.

Twenty-five pills down,

And somehow he lived.

Disowned,

Abandoned,

Ripped away from family and friends.

"This is it," he thinks to himself.

"I have now truly lost all will to live."

Then, out of nowhere, a prince in disguise breaks down the walls and battles the dragon.

The dragon named depression.

The prince won.

I am safe.

I am home.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is a poem telling a story of a guy who was disowned for being trans in a house where he never felt safe or loved, and his story of how he overcame death and found true happiness. (HINT: the narrator is me, and this is my story)

View chase_neko's Full Portfolio
Blackwingedbird's picture

Well it is nice you're still

Well it is nice you're still alive. However, I would like to tell you that you are never trapped in life unless you let yourself be. It takes much courage sometimes but the world is not contained by four walls and a front door. I realise this may not apply to you but hopefully it will help someone else.

Chase_Neko's picture

Your Comment

Thank you for your feedback! I just wanted to say that I did not write it has being trapped in life, but more as trapped in my mind with just depression and anxiety as my only true friends as bullies came in and made everything worse.