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That Dark Existence
Folder:
Emotional Pain & Sadness
My insecurities run vastly deep.
Dug so, by the careless hands
Of one so bereft of emotions-
So incapable of true love.
And now, having escaped
That piling-on-shovel
I am left to dig myself out
Of the gaping hole that I became.
Hard as I try
I slip, I stumble, I fall...
Back down into the dark abyss
He buried me deeply within'.
I try hard, so damn hard
To see myself as more
More than the nothingness
He made me feel.
More than the worthlessness
He led me to believe
More than the emptiness
He continually filled me with.
I'm trying...really, really trying.
But years and years of sameness
Makes it so hard to believe me worthy-
Worthy of anything good and true.
Of being really loved, cherished
Cared about and desired-FOR ME!!!
...When all I ever knew was the emptiness
Of my dark and lonely existence he made of me.
Great write
Lack of human, lack of emotions
For a long time, all I knew was pain and darkness
I showed only one emotion, anger
All its many stages I displayed
Over the last three years, a love has taught me
There is more than destruction
More than just darkness
She brought a candle into my darken world
A candle burning an inferno
The final stages of my ten year war is falling into place
The battles against addiction, the wars against self hatred
The war and battle all leading to the day where
I stand before the mirror saying "My greatest victory was loving my self again."
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I only speak from experience and your poem touched me. Knowing how it is to believing we are worthless because of someone else and their short comings. It has taken me a long time to see that I am worthy. Still have a hard time when I get positive feed back. But it happens, we do become worthy and human again. I learn we are always worthy. We are different but worthy.
Thank you.
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I am an artist of words as well as paints.
I thank you kindly for your
Yes, the damage others can do is much..but I am forever stronger than anyone who lacks such emotion...who lacks a soul.
I thank you kindly for your wonderful reply. Glad you enjoyed the read!! :)