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5:54 pm
The silence is not really quiet and my words are not real
My heart flutters and I am not really sure why
Maybe it was London?
I sigh and feel only slightly happy
One minute has gone by and the shadow that was sitting next to me has gone
And I wonder if I will ever find her again
Hmm.. I was just reading some of my critiques and saw your name several times, so I came here. I didn't remember actually reading your poetry, but I left a note in the guestbook, so I must have. However, maybe this one was newer than when last I came. This was was really good. I liked it a lot. And don't listen to Mr. Eric there about that "silence is not really quiet" line. Silence is not really quiet and my words are not real is part of why it was so great. I didn't think of it at the time, but even when you sit in silence you're still battling with yourself in your mind. Yelling at yourself, telling yourself that you're a loser and such. And whatever you say is a lie, you see. I don't know if even you thought it that way, but.. it's an interpretation that sounds pretty good. This was a good poem.
WHOA that was really strange, I was just visiting random poems and read this one then saw it was one of yours lol...how odd. Anyway...I don't remember if I've commented on this one yet, I like it except the first line "silence is not really quiet"...silence is always quiet...try a different word because I know what you MEAN it just doesn't sound right.
the title got my attention, but your words kept me there. great work. i hope you post more.
"maybe it was London?"...brilliant!