The Ride

The older I get

The more I realize that I haven’t any control

LIFE just keeps psyching me out

Playing trick after trick on me

Making me THINK that I am in the driver’s seat

When I am actually in the passenger seat

Hell… sometimes I’m just in the back seat riding with the door open

Watching the designs that the white lines make

In the middle of the road with the reflectors

As Life accelerates me and slows me down

Sometimes making everything blur into one straight line

And some of the time allowing each line

And each reflector to be seen clearly and separately

Keeping an eye on the road in front of me

…Is not always easy

Some THING is constantly in my mirrors

Dirtying up my windshield with UNidentifiable objects

I find myself distracted and overwhelmed

With the scenery that fate seems to keep changing on me without warning

So much change so often -- that I have to close my eyes

Or just turn my head to the side because I don’t want to see

That’s why I end up sitting on the edge of the my seat

…..With the door open

The thought of jumping out strolling across my mind

With every UNpredictable twist and turn of life’s highway

That renders me defenseless to what maybe riding in my blind…

How did I end up taking this damn ride anyway?

No one ASKED me if I wanted to go

I just looked up one day and realized that this entire time…

I’ve been looking out of a damn window

Yea- yea I know…

If I decided to jump out I could hurt myself

Scrape my knees, bump my head, and maybe even break a bone

BUT -- isn’t that what being a passenger has rendered unto me anyway?

You see….

If I could just jump out

I wouldn’t have to ride anymore

And go places I don’t want to go

Meeting people I don’t want to meet

Doing things I don’t want to do

Experiencing pains I don’t want to feel

Feeling sorrows that will never let me go

Crying my tears out of salt until my heart turns blue

Running love out of me with mental anguish and anxiety

Altering my psyche into someone I no longer recognize

Because my walls are bricked so high

And bricked so thick

That I don’t even know where I am going

When I look into my own eyes

I must be stuck on the highways and byways of a “Catch 22”

Because I’m damned if I don’t jump out

And God knows I am damned if I do…

© Mood Swingz_28June2006