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The Southland Diaries (day 02) [explicit!]
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Diaries The second day of my ‘real estate promotion guy’ job at the Southland complex. It’s been copied verbatim and has not been altered in any way, hence the grammatical mistakes and poor expression. Each number corresponds to a page in the A4 note book I used to write all this rubbish in.
Fri 25/06/2004
1.
9:40am Back for another long and boring day of nothingness.
Just finished my breakfast, consisting of two greasy cheese and mushroom/bacon roll from a bakery, washed down with a tall cappuccino from McCafé.
No wine today, nor dexters (so far). But I did have a triple coffee before I left home, I’ll try and make it through the day without dexters, but it’ll be hard seeing I sat up until two thirty am last night, removing a Trojan virus picked up from some porn site. I think I finally succeeded in the end, but it sure was a pain in the ass. Why do they do it? What do they hope to achieve? Fucking internet pests, should be culled and shot! The Americans should send out bomber jets and blow up their residencies, as soon as they are discovered, much like they blow up the hang outs of notorious terrorists. There ya go Mr. President! Instant voter points! I doubt anybody would take to the streets in protest of this kind of extermination. These computer geek loners probably don’t even have a single close friend who’d stand up for them.
How cute… a little boy, around M**’s age, just walked by in a full Superman costume, complete with a home-made double sword holster on his back. Like a little Super musketeer, or SuperZorro. I don’t really approve of M** playing with plastic weapons, of any sort, but the acting out of aggression seems to be an innate part of humanity. It’s something I never wanted to believe in, and that aggression was something we were taught, or picked up from aggressive parents or siblings. These days I’m inclined to think that a peaceful nature is something that must be taught. It’s hard for a small child to be at peace in this very hostile world. Information overload only keeps increasing with every generation. I wonder what a five year old child will be like, fifty years from now. I hope there will be five year old children fifty years from now.
2.
10:14am Don’t think the cute Indian girl is working today. Nor the good-looking blonde in ‘bettis’ shoe store. Damn… that just negatively warped the time factor for the day. I need to pick my nose. It’s hard to be discreet in such an open place. At least fifty or sixty people can see me at any given moment. Forgot to bring a hankie again… and toilet paper.
10:28am Gonna be more sparing with my dribble from now on. The thought of having to type all this up later annoys me. I wish I had a laptop. Then I’d probably never stop typing, as it would send out the illusion of a man busy at work. “Ooh, he’s probably going through yesterday’s sales figures.”
Sitting here and writing secretively (for I do cover it with one of the ‘Bass Coast resort’ pages) in a notebook just doesn’t come off as grandiose. They know I’m just idling away my time.
10:57am Fuck it! I’m falling asleep here… might have to succumb to the call of the dexter.
10:59am “Excuse me, can you tell me where the information desk is?” Err… about ten metres behind me, are you blind? Oops, visually challenged? Must be so draining to be geriatric. You must begin to feel like a public burden. When I get to that stage I’m gonna retreat to some mountain lodge and order all my food and necessities over the internet, minimising all human contact. But plenty of pets.
Oh by the way, there has been plenty to perv at today, I’m just sick of writing about it, and I’m sure you’re just as sick of reading it.
11:14am Down the hatch they go. But that’s it. Only two today. Promise.
3.
11:17am
“Pleez, can yoo tell mee vere iz choc-o-lat szhop?”
“There’s an information desk just behind me.”
11:33am
“Is this down Tasmania?” asks a man pointing to the billboard.
“No, it’s in Phillip Island” I reply.
“Phillip Island? Ah… ok… thanks.” He walks on.
11:53am The cute Indian chick just rocked up! :o) She even gave me a quick smile and a wave. Woo hoo!
11:57am This bloke resembling a Sumo wrestler just walked by, trying to buckle up his belt as he walked. Took him quite some time to succeed; it was quite a sight! Why it was unbuckled in the first place I will never know…
12:04pm A nice elderly man with a walking stick enquired about the geographic location of the resort. He stopped and mimicked a mild golf swing, asking me “do you play a bit of golf, do you?”
“Only very occasionally… must have a handicap of about fifty-four!”
“Hehehe… I wish I was younger… I turn eighty next week… only got a couple of years before I fall off the…” and the rest of his analogy of death I couldn’t quite make out.
12:11pm First interested party… new time record! :op
12:17pm I’m such an efficient and friendly sales man when the dexters kick in. Just seems a lot easier to dribble out all the bullshit details surrounding these golf resorts. People also seem less annoying… more tolerable.
4.
A rush of motivation
Surges
Through my veins
And arteries
The heart squeezes relentless
Armies of bimolecular
Engineering
technological and medical research –
To force a smile
Upon my jaded lips
Like a good Simpsons episode
Microscopically shrunk
And condensed into a small pill
Released into the nervous system
Hundreds and thousands of
Tiny ships
All scattered, drifting through me
On a personal ‘incredible journey’
But I’m not the president
And the fate of the world
Does not rest in my hands
And the ship’s commander
Isn’t even medically trained
He has no credentials
He is Homer Simpson
I just needed
Some
Motivation.
5.
12:53pm
“Can you tell me where there’s a St. George’s Bank?”
“There’s an information desk right behind me.”
“What? There’s a St. George’s Bank right behind you?”
“Information desk.”
“Information desk? Ah… I see…”
They just keep coming, despite the close proximity of a REAL information desk. Sure glad I popped those dexters.
12:58pm
“You couldn’t point me to the centre directory, could you?”
At least some people possess common sense. I’m beginning to lose faith in the term. It should be called ‘uncommon sense’, and a new one should be introduced; common stupidity.
It’s even more shameful when they begin asking their stupid questions before I’ve had the chance to take my headphones off, as if eye contact is all it takes to communicate; like I’m some sort of expert lip-reader.
13:28pm “FUCKING HOSTILE!” sings Phillip…
13:31pm
“Do you know if there’s a Credit Unity around here?”
“Not sure, but there’s an information desk just behind me.”
16:25pm Well I held off for this long… might as well finish the day off with some dribble. For lunch I purchased “Shampoo Planet” by Douglas Coupland, took it back to my desk and read a few chapters. Oh, and I also brought back a small plastic container with some sort of a Japanese stir-fry dish with noodles.
Just spotted that blonde chick from the shoe store too, so I guess they both made it today. I didn’t miss the blonde chick as much since there was a gorgeous brunette there all day, replacing her.
6.
‘Replaced’. I must seem like a cold bastard who sees women as nothing but objects. Well, I guess that’s true in a way. But I see everything as ‘nothing but objects’. All I see in front of me are complex patterns of atoms and molecules, chaotically swirling around, forming masses and structures, which I’ve been asked, through the burden of existence, to make sense of.
I am still pondering. Don’t think I’ll ever stop… or ever reach a decisive conclusion.
It all just continues to swirl around me, like the Matrix revealed, when Neo finally ‘gets’ it.
Only I don’t ‘get’ anything… I just get more confused as time hurtles through the cosmos. My grasp on meaning, values and morality, seems to be dissolving like an aspirin in a glass of water. Yet they do not wholly disappear; they are still held in the confines of the glass structure, just at maximum dissipation. A large paddock with thousands of sheep, all spread out with equal spaces between them. There is no firm point of concentration left. No pillar to stand up on. No black and white, nor grey, just static noise.
But sometimes, when I rattle my head, I get clarity, focus; like one of those cheesy water filled domes that ‘snow’ when you shake them, but in reverse. In my head it stops snowing when you shake it.
Must stop and pick up some ‘clarity’ potion on my way home. ;o)
17:02pm Shit! I can’t even remember if I’m supposed to stay until five or five thirty… may as well hang around.
Yery, very interesting indeed. No wonder diaries are sneaked for a good read, worldwide. You are a deep thinker as well as a, one with good sense of humour who can never get bored. There is every bit to enjoy in your life though not without pondering. You express love for life at the same time you are aware of the paradox it is. Enjoyed the vividness of thought, time, and place. Thanks for sharing...