PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

As I hold you in my arms my emotions are mixed

Thinking of all the external masks you wore unaware of your secret internal issues that you felt needed to be fixed

I wanted to be mad at you for  now making me clean up this mess but I just couldn't

Instantly faced with remorse for ignoring your outcries for help knowing I could have been more helpful but wouldn't

Through the storm of tears pouring down my face and contemplating endless sadness I have nothing but guilt

I will never forgive myself for not answering the call to aid in your mental stability nor not appreciating the progress our intimate history has built

On one hand I want to console you while the other I want to redirect my immediate pain

Now I am faced with the conclusion that you left me with no choice because I will never physically see you again

Lord I ask you why did this have to be this way?

Why didn't I take you serious yesterday leaving me the results of today?

I am so sorry I was not there for you and I will regret it to my grave

Lord Please forgive me for down playing the seriousness of your thoughts, and for judging you for not being what I consider tough

Lord please be my daily guide for navigating my new reality knowing it will infinity be rough

I feel like I am just in a scary nightmare  just waiting to be awakened by your touch

I  can't imagine whatever over-whelming feelings you were facing that made you feel that continuing life was too much

I am so sorry for treating your like a burdon as I challenged my own mental health

I took for granted that you would continue to figure it out; and was not aware of the true depth your depression was felt

I wish by some miracle I could tell you how much value your life added to mines

I wish I could bring you back to hug and kiss you for countless times

I want to take my anger out on something even though I know it would not be right

I want explanations on why I can't hold you for at least one more night

Now I can never get your side of the story and I will never attempt to create the narrative

However I can assure you that if ever facing a similar suituation with someone else,  I will do my best to help them appreciate ever second of life the lord blesses us to live. 

By Bryant Mosley