The despair closes in
it begins to close it's fist around my heart
even as it slowly tears my soul apart.
I tell lies to those around me
and sometimes even myself
telling myself I'm being beneficient
but does deceit truly have merrit?
I paint them a picture of happiness and joy
I tell them all they wish to hear.
Inside me everything I once held dear
and in my mind could see crystal clear
is now, riddled with decay
hidden by shadow and so unclear.
All the while, the pain inside increases
the light decreases
and the anger held in check
just under my skin begs for release.
The despair closes in
it buries hooks into my skin.
The rage fills my blood
the red flood overtakes my mind
replaces my vision.
The blood throbbing in my head screams at me.
It screams at me to find someone, to show someone
the pain that eats away at my humanity.
For a short time
inflict the pain instead of just bearing it.
For at times like these I am far past caring
my heart and soul lie barren...