It's backwards how then is now
Like it was at first
Welts so fresh
Upon my flesh and lips
All the time inbetween this blur
Where I just didn't feel anything
About you or it or anyone
Who mattered
I just wanted to sink away
And pretend that I liked
The darkness of my thoughts
Where I could beat myself up
And no one would stop it
I think I see you
Spinning through the crowds
At every footstep
A memory
That I thought I had forgotten
Now I'm thinking
About you
And I have to
Because if I don't
This wave will drown
The struggling swimmer
Each gulp of water I sip down
Brings me one step closer
To feeling bottom
Where it isn't backwards
Anymore
And it isn't silly
That it hurts now
And just didn't then
This expresses exactly what I'm feeling right now as well - why was it ok then but not anymore? Remember, we can always support eachother!
it is, isn't it? you think they're gone but then something, anything, brings it back. though sometimes it's easier do deal with later