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I feel empty tonight as I walk the street alone. I'm walking alone again, in more ways than one. "Alone"... the thought echos in my mind like I haven't been thinking it every second for the past month or so. I'm alone again. Now its true. My worst fears have become reality... I AM ALONE.The cold air of a midnight in October feels good on my bare arms, but breaks my train of thought, shifting my focus from my peculiar situation to you. Oh, how I miss you. How I want us to be again. Just you and me. Like when nothing else mattered. I want it all back. I shake the thoughts from my head again, my senses are telling me not to cry. I try to be strong. I don't want to go home and get compared to a lost puppy again. That was in the beginning. That was before I was used to it. Now I just seem cold, angry, and distant. Puppies aren't angry. No one's going to compare me to a puppy tonight. I guess I've been compared to a puppy a lot. Twice that I really remember vividly. Once you compared me to a puppy. It makes my laugh a little to think about it. I also makes me miss the good times. The other time I remember being compared to a puppy wasn't quite as funny. It was after. I was taking it hard. Someone said I looked like a little lost puppy. I think they were trying to cheer me up. I remember it not working. Now it makes me smile a little. I want to be with you again. No matter what I think about, that thought always seems to pop back up in my head. No matter what irrelevant thing may be bouncing around my skull, I always turn the center of my attention back to you, somehow. Its really not that hard to do, now that I think about it. You ARE the most wonderful thing that's ever happened to me. Why shouldn't I think about you all the time? I can't think of one good reason why I shouldn't, so I think I will. Yes, I will, and I still am. Still walking down the street, it seems to get colder and colder with every step. When I imagine you walking with me, it seems warmer. I imagine that you and I are walking together, side by side. Its just us and we're together again. You look at me. I smile. You smile back and things are perfect. Things are perfect again. Things are perfect. I'm jealous of my thoughts, they can have you back whenever they want you. I'm not so lucky. I often wonder when I'm alone, like tonight walking, if I'll ever have you back. I think about it almost constantly. I hope I will. I often think about how happy I could be again. I want that so bad I can about feel it. But then again I think there's no use in getting my hopes up. I'd hate to get destroyed again. So I return to feeling cold and distant and to thinking of how I'm all alone again. I miss you so bad.