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Weird Dreams.

Lately I am bothered with weird dreams. I wake from a dream and am covered in sweat. My bedclothes are soaked and it means me getting up in the early hours of the morning to have a shower change my clothes and go down stairs to make myself a cup of tea. I have tried remaking my bed and going back to bed but it is no use I dream this weird dream and wake up again with my pulse racing covered again in sweat. I have tried not eating anything after five o’clock in the evening. I have also tried milk drinks such as Horlicks, Ovalmaltine and just plain milk before going to bed. The sleeping tablets the Doctor gave me made matters worse. I would drop off to sleep and then wake up in panic. I have now got to the point where I sleep a lot during the day especially when watching the television. My old wheelbarrow in the garden with its two soft cushions is often in use. In fact I am now a night man I sleep as much during the day as I can and stay up most of the night. I sleep a little in my easy chair and wake before the dream gets under way.

Some people have told me to go for a long walk before going to bed. Others that I should really count sheep while yet others tell me to read a boring book that will also send me off to sleep without my dreaming. I have tried all kinds of methods, none seem to help the dream is always with me. What is this dream I can hear you ask?  That is the trouble I do not know. I just wake and have no recollection of what I have dreamt. I have been recommended for a sleeping test and treatment at our local hospital. I packed an overnight case with my toilet articles and some fresh pyjamas and made my way to the hospital. Here a friendly nurse who showed me to a room welcomed me. The bed was a normal hospital bed with a white bedside locker. On the wall was a panel with switches and cables running from it to another room or so I was told. The doctor came and once again I told him of my weird dreams and my waking up covered in sweat and a racing heart with panic attacks. The doctor then explained that I would be connected to the various wires that measure the impulses in my brain. This pattern would give him some idea as to why I dreamed such bad dreams. I had been previously checked to make sure that I was otherwise in good health and that not some organ or other in my body was causing the nightly distress.

A nurse came into the room, greeted me very friendly and asked if she could now connect me to the machines. Taking the wires she connected them to a kind of mask that she had placed on my head. After I was fully connected she told me to relax and try to sleep. She turned the main light out as she went out of the door. The only thing connecting me to the world outside of the room were the cables and a small camera that could be moved into any position and a night-light. This camera was to show the doctor making the study as to the position that I was laying in when the electric impulses from the cables connected to my head made the markings forming a graph. This graph could be read by anyone that had studied the subject. I do not know how long I slept then it was there again the dream. I awoke with my pulse racing my body covered in sweat. Blinking my eyes I could not for a few seconds place where I was. I started to panic again. Two nurses came into the room one had a sweet melodious voice and told me to relax there is nothing for me to worry about. “Breath in deeply Mr.Shaw,” she said. I took a few deep breaths and relaxed. The other nurse gave me a fresh set of pyjamas and remade the bed. The equipment was once again reconnected and I was told to relax and try to drop off into a sleep. I could not relax and to drop off into a sleep and have this weird dream again no I could not face that again not twice in one night.

Morning came and after a breakfast the room was cleaned and the morning visitation by a group of doctors and nurses started. “Good morning Mr.Shaw, how are you this morning. I see that you did not sleep very well and had to wake up in the night.” “Can you describe what gave you such a panic attack” Here is where I could not tell the doctors why I had, had such a panic attack. I do not know I have no recollections what ever of what my dream was about. The doctors put their heads together and I heard one of them say “ A psychiatrist perhaps another said perhaps Hypnotism? Then I was told that I would be taken to a hypnotiser he would try to unblock my brain from whatever was disturbing my sleep. Later I was taken by a nurse in a wheelchair down to a pleasant room where a soft inviting couch was waiting for me. Nurse told me to make myself comfortable in a chair and the doctor would be with me in a minute.

The Doctor a large man with a very pleasant voice asked me how he could be of help. I told him of my trouble with sleeping and my weird dreams of which I had no memory. Somewhere in the room I cannot tell where it is coming from I can hear water as if a fountain had been turned on then a very soft music that seemed to run with the music of the fountain lulled me into a state of a calm relaxation. I knew who I was, I knew where I was and I knew that the voice soft and coming from far away was going to help me. I heard the voice telling me that I was now fully awake but I heard only this voice. I was only to listen to this voice. Nothing else was to bother me I was only to listen to this soft soothing voice. From a distance I heard the voice saying, “Tell me about your dreams. You have nothing to fear. I am with you. I heard a voice speaking this time it was my own voice. I am trapped in a world of obstacles it is maize made up of metal bars that run from ceiling to floor, from wall to wall. I cannot make any headway crossing the room no matter how hard I try. I fight the barrier with my bare hands, it is no use, and no matter how hard I try I cannot get through the barrier. “Why must you get through the barrier? The gentle voice asked. “Do you not see the baby that is waiting for me to get to it to feed it and clothe it and to rock it gently in my arms,” Do you not see it?” “I see it said the soothing voice, you do not have to get to the baby any more. I will take it with me and tend to it as if it was my own.” I felt such a release at hearing these words that I opened my eyes. Close your eyes said the gentle voice I must tell you something else. If you are ever in such a barrier again you will take an acetylene torch and burn your way through the metal. Softly the voice said, “I will now count to three and on the word three you will wake up and remember everything that has happened. One! Two! Three!” I opened my eyes and felt as if I had gone through a cleansing fire. I felt really good. The Doctor then told me that it was my wish to have children that was causing my weird dreams and that I could not talk about the dreams was the fact that as it was my secret that I wanted children. I could tell no one else about