Author Information
Gone and Far away
Folder:
2002
Your face is a blank memory
Along with love and time
Yet somehow I'd give anything
To hear your velvet rhyme
Your kiss is a blowing breeze
Barely grazing my face
A whisper on my pillow
Leaving without a trace
Your love a dream of old
And pain a fear of new
Yet I still long to feel
The smiles and smell of you
Your voice no longer echo's
Inside my mind's ear
But every now and then
Your voice still sheds a tear
Your words are never empty
But neither is the air
I'd really love to hate you
Cause it hurts to care
So while you sleep 20 miles away
And dream of what you lost
I'll sleep 20 miles from you
And help you pay the cost
I read this, then skipped back and read it again... You did good on this one
"Your words are never empty
But neither is the air
I’d really love to hate you
Cause it hurts to care"
Not a bad poem ... I love that "I'd really love to hate you/Cause it hurts to care", although I think it would flow a little bit better if it was "Because if hurts to care". I really don't get that last line, though ...
Reuben
Hello,
i like the majority of the poem but, the hate to care could be, cuz it hurts to care, cuz i can't stand to care, so on and so forth. i like the first to sections the best..and the rest is good too. the end you need to change: so well, should be so while :)
love ya always
Vicki
i like the first and the fifth stanzas the most
the idea that you loved to hate the person cause it hurts so baddly to care, can relate to that...makes me feel bad for you tho, its really good
nikki
Nicole.J.Burgesss