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A place for you
Folder:
2002
You could ask me why
Not a day goes by
That I'm not in-love with you
I could hold onto a past
That simply couldn't last
But what good would it do
If I just stand strong
Then it won't be long
Before I find somebody new
And we could stay apart
Every where but in my heart
There will always be a place for you
I don't like to critique based on subject matter so I won't say that I hate luvy duvy wispy wishing they were wisened way beyond their years dinky little ditties
- Oops that just kinda spilled out didn't it -
It is just my opinion (which to me is everything *jump back and kiss myself*) but this could be rewritten without lines that start with "and,then,before,but,that etc.." and really be worth something - regardless of subject matter
Great idea for a poem. I know I may not be the best to criticize metre, but I get the feeling that this poem is meant to be read in a steady metre. My advice is to throuw out some words.
Wow Ilove the second stanza the most of all!!!
How can you say meh!!!!:(
I kick you!
Jokes Hun.
Luv Nikki
Great poem ... I like the pattern to it, the rhythm. I think, tho, if you changed it to:
"And we could stay apart
But always in my heart
There will ever be a place for you"
but that's just my opinion, which doesn't amount to beans lol
Great job!
Reuben