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~I Am Not Her~
I am not her, I did not choose
to live a lie, or accept abuse
& allow my child to bear my wounds,
receive my scars, feel each bruise~
~I am not her, I chose to face
the truths denial can't erase,
the love I need is found in Him,
I don't need a man to have peace within~
I am not her, I let God's perfect love
cast out my fear, & His love's enough
to satisfy my heart's true needs,
to heal the wounds that sometimes still bleed,
I am not willing to settle for
unhealed things closing my heart's door,
I did not choose to let abuse corrode,
I took the harder, narrow road~
I am not her, I choose to be free
the way the Lord meant us to be,
no longer bound by sin's heavy chains,
beaten down & hindered by years of pain,
I am not her, I took a stand
against the enemy's wicked plan
for my life, & my child's future~
~No, I'm not my mom...I am not her.
*~*~*~*~*
~By Anastazia Rowe~
Written in April, 2006.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I Am Not Her (...& never will be...) ...Part two...
(Written tonight, after she wrote to let us know we'll never see each other again, after nearly twenty years apart...)
...I am not her, much as I long
to hear again my mother's song,
I know, Father, you've promised when
you'll take me up...{when I'm forsaken,
even by the parents you chose for me...
...it serves to drive me to my knees...}
...I am not her, I chose the truth...
God, please bring a new mom, like you did for Ruth,
to lead, to help, to mentor me
to keep pursuing truth, & to remain free~
I am not her, I will not try
to hold onto & live a lie,
this life you've given me has always been
homeward bound, yet caught in between,
but now, I see I must let go
completely & press on & know
that You are always here to comfort me,
& that You're the only parent I need.
I am not her, I've chosen to speak
the things that could've made me weak,
but in expression, strength has come...
...I'll reflect You, Lord...not my mom.
~Anastazia Rowe~
3:55 am, June 24th, 2008.
